Not Feeling Like Myself Today
by HalfwaytoNowhere142
Summary: COMPLETE: What if Tony and Ziva switched bodies? Will it help them find love along the way or will it ultimately destroy their relationship? Idea based on Freaky Friday. Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or anything related to it. Warning: Mature
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show, characters, etc. This story idea is based on Freaky Friday.**

**Warning: Contains adult content, hence the rating. **

Ziva looks in the mirror and hates the reflection staring back at her. This is not her. This will never be her. What has happened to cause this? She is extremely scared, because she is no longer herself. She is cocky and has this annoying look on her face constantly. She doesn't know what to do with this body: these large hands and long legs; these muscular arms; the slow reflexes and short hair. How did this happen? Is she dreaming? She certainly hopes she is just dreaming because this body is not her own. She is trapped in Tony's body.

It all started yesterday...

Everything about the day seemed relatively normal. In fact, nothing particularly exciting even happened. Ziva woke up, ran five miles, got dressed, and drove to work. When she walked into the bullpen, McGee was busily typing away on his computer while Tony attempted to brush his hair and put on a clean, white shirt. He looked like he was nursing a hangover.

He looks up as Ziva enters. "I really, really hate Mondays... Why do _you_ look so chipper today?"

Ziva only smirks as she sits down at her desk and powers up her computer. "No reason."

Her cryptic statement makes Tony perk up and he comes to stand near her desk, leaning on it casually. "Have a good night, David?" He waggles his eyebrows at her and grins impishly.

"If I did, Tony, it would be none of your business. But since, you asked so nicely, I will answer. Yes, I did. Now, you must answer my question. Why do you smell like lilac?"

"Because I ran out of deoderant and had to borrow Probie's. He uses girly deodorant; the guy has a problem. _Anyway, _Ms. Nosy... Did the neighbors hear your screams? Was the sex good? Did you kill him afterwards?"

She punches him on the arm right as Gibbs walks in. "DAVID! DINOZZO! Stop playing grab ass and get your gear. Dead marine near Bridgeport."

When they arrived at the scene, Ziva and Tony were assigned to search the area for further evidence. The marine was found dead in an alleyway behind a string of restaurant chains.

Tony leans over and peels something from the ground. "Oh, old gum. Abby's going to love that! Nothing like a fresh sample of saliva to get your week going."

"There is something wrong with you, Tony."

"Hey! I'm perfectly normal. At least I use contractions. Besides, who wouldn't like someone who speaks in a James Bond voice?" Tony begins to imitate James Bond as they wander around and pick up garbage in the alleyway.

They arrive outside the door of a Chinese restaurant and a women, who happens to be taking out her trash, comes out the door.

"What are you doing by my restaurant?"

"Oh, hello ma'am. We're NCIS agents. Just doing our job. Go about your daily tasks. Unless, of course, you want to give us some Chinese. Man, I love Chinese. Right, David?"

Ziva glances at Tony. "Tony, we are working."

"I know. What better time to eat? We need to keep up our energy, right?"

"No. Now bag this burger wrapper already."

Tony grabs the wrapper and sniffs it apprehensively. "Ah, cheeseburger with onion and mustard. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Although, I would have added pickles."

Ziva doesn't reply. The old woman continues observing them interact and says nothing. Tony smiles at her and looks around the alleyway some more for any evidence of bullet casings.

"Tony! Get over here, please. I need someone to take pictures while I find evidence! I cannot be expected to do everything around here!"

"Sure you can, Zee-vah. I'm senior field agent, remember? You need the experience, Probie."

"Tony, I am warning you if you do not get over here I will kill you with this trash can lid in two seconds."

"Right. Sorry." He rushes over to her, knowing she's only half-kidding.

The woman smiles as she heads inside and returns back a moment later with two fortune cookies with her palm outstretched.

"Would you like a fortune cookie, dears?"

Tony and Ziva glance up from their work, surprised. "Uh, sure." Tony grabs them both and hands one to Ziva, who shakes her head of curly hair. "I cannot. We should not be eating right now. If Gibbs finds out..."

"Relax, Zee-vah... Unless you're too chicken?" Tony starts imitating a chicken. Again.

Ziva rips the cookie from his hand and reads her fortune while the restaurant owner disappears inside.

_Who you are is not who you wish to be. Who you can be is not who you would expect. Place yourself in another's shoes and find your true path. But be careful, for there may be no going back. _

"What does yours say?"

"I do not understand it. It is kind of depressing."

Tony grabs it and reads hers. "That's what mine said, too! What a rip-off. I thought all fortunes were supposed to be different."

"Where did you hear that, Tony? Saturday morning cartoons?"

"At least I understand them, Ziva."

"I understand them, except for Wiley Coyote. Why does he not just find something else to eat?"

They continue to work in silence, neither realizing how much their lives are about to change.

* * *

><p>The next morning, her alarm clock buzzes at 4:30 a.m. as usual and Ziva groans slightly, snuggling back into her soft mattress. After it rings again, she sighs and stands up, scratching her shoulder.<p>

As she walks to the closet, she feel slightly off-kilter, like something is wrong with her body. She glances down and freezes.

Where her chest should be, there is only flatness. She can see large feet and manly, unshaved legs.

Ziva rushes to the mirror and nearly screams. She is not herself. Tony Dinozzo is staring back at her with a shocked expression.

She nearly faints. Nearly, because no matter who she may look like, Ziva David does not faint. Ever.

She shakes her head to clear it as if maybe she was imagining things but when she opens them again, Tony is still staring back at her apprehensively.

She looks around. "Tony? This is not funny." Her voice is not her own! She sounds like him. His low voice is still rough with sleep and sounding very confused.

This is not good. Being the sane, calm person she usually is in drastic situations, Ziva grabs her purse and car keys as she runs out the door. People in her apartment give her strange looks as she jogs toward her car (who wouldn't look twice at a man wearing pink rabbit pajamas that are two sizes too small for him and carrying a purse?), but she ignores them.

She jumps into her car and speeds over to Tony's apartment, praying beyond all hope that Tony is still Tony and not someone else. What if he turned into Gibbs? Or Abby? Or Palmer? Or Ducky? Who is playing her, then? Is she sure this isn't just a dream? Maybe she was drugged...

She runs up the stairs to his apartment and is soon out of breath (Tony is very out of shape despite his boasting to the contrary) and she uses her spare key to unlock his door. She runs to his bedroom and flings open the door, flipping on the lights as she does so.

Tony lets out a growl that sounds a little too-familiar and groans. The covers are over his head so she cannot see him but Ziva has to know what has happened. Is he still Tony?

She rips the covers off and he sits up with a growl. "What the hell is your problem? What do you th-"

Then, he lets out the most girlish scream to ever emit from Ziva's actual mouth. How is it possible for a man trapped inside her body to act more girly than she ever could?

Tony shakes his (actually Ziva's) head and hits it a few times to make sure this is real. "Who the hell are you and why do you look like me?"

Ziva shrugs her now impressively broad shoulders and grabs his hand. It feels weird to be holding her own hand. She never knew it was so small and soft. She leads him to the mirror and this time she does have the pleasure of watching herself faint as Tony falls to the floor in sheer surprise and shock.

She manages to pour water over his face to revive him and watches as he sits up. "Why do I look like Ziva? Who are you? Why do you look like me?"

"I am Ziva, Tony."

"Ziva?" He peers at her, trying to see her somewhere inside of Tony's body.

"Yes. I can prove it. When I first met you, the first thing I said to you that no one else knows about is, 'Are you having phone sex', yes? See. I am Ziva."

He shrugs his shoulders. "I believe you. Who else would be able to guess that? That first sentence should have warned me about you from the beginning."

She hits his shoulder and he grimaces. "Hey! Be careful! This is your body, not mine." He suddenly grins. "Speaking of which, I think I should change into something less... wet." Tony glances down at her (now his) body and gingerly pokes a breast.

"HEY! Do not touch those." She glares at him but he only smiles.

"Why? I'm Ziva David. This is my body. I can touch whatever I want... You know, this could be fun. No reason we have to change back soon."

She rolls her eyes at him. "We have to change back, Tony. I cannot be you. You cannot be me. What will we do at work?"

"We work on the same team, David. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that I do not want to be stuck as _you! _I do not want to have a manly body with a gross hairy butt."

"HEY! How do you know my butt is hairy? Did you look at it?"

"No. I did not need to. I was undercover with you, remember?"

She watches her mouth smile and eyes dance. "Ah, yes. I loved that mission. You know, we could...uh..."

"Shut up, Tony. I am not having sex with you in this body."

"But don't you want to know what it feels like to do it with _yourself_?"

"No, I do not. Now go shower and get dressed. I will call Gibbs and tell him we are both sick today. We need to fix this. Now."

"Yeah, like he's going to buy that we're both sick. If you call for both of us, he's going to think we slept together."

"I do not care." She walks away but stops in her tracks when she suddenly hears, "I guess I'm going to go take a shower now. You know, you have very firm breasts."

She turns around to glare at him, but it is not the same in Tony's body. He only saunters into the bathroom with a laugh.

She hope they figure out what happened and soon because she is not sure she can survive living inside Tony's body for a minute longer.

**Review if I should keep going.**


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't understand why you're so freaked out about this! There's worse things than being me. I mean, look at how _handsome_ I am!"

Ziva watches as Tony, currently sitting at his kitchen table, stuffs her body with pancake upon pancake. Surprisingly, Gibbs has given them both the day off without question, probably because he thinks they are both sick. That's how Ziva now finds herself in Tony's apartment, watching as he eats more than should be humanly possible.

"Stop eating already! I cannot afford all those calories! No wonder you are so out of shake!"

"It's out of shape, Ziva. Besides, you're too skinny. It can't hurt." She had driven back to her apartment earlier and grabbed some of her things, including clothes for him. However, she does not like watching Tony wear her clothes, even if it is her body, because he is so messy. Like now, for example: Tony accidentally spills syrup on her shirt.

"Watch it! I like that shirt, Tony!"

"Oops. Sorry."

"You know, everyone is going to know that something is wrong if you continue to act like a pig." She raises an eyebrow as she says this and it looks very weird on Tony Dinozzo's face.

He only smiles at her and snaps back, "They won't suspect a thing because you already act like a pig."

She sits down at the table with a sigh, grateful that Tony lent her a pair of his jeans and a sweatshirt. Her pajamas, which fit comfortably on her own body the night before, were much too small for his large frame. She studies Tony and wonders what they are going to do. It is very strange watching herself eat and talk, and although he does not show it, she knows Tony is as scared and perplexed as her.

"How do you think this happened?"

Tony glances up at her with a serious expression for the first time. "I don't know, Ziva. I've thought about what we did yesterday and nothing really sticks out in my mind. I didn't even know something like this was possible. I thought this only happened in movies. In fact, this reminds me of Freaky Friday. Have you ever seen it? It's where this woman and her daughter switch bodies and-"

"TONY! I do not care about some movie. I want us to change back. I do not like being you."

"Hey! What's wrong with being me? I'm great!"

"No. You are gross and smelly and really out of shape, that is what."

"Yeah? Well, you're... um..." He stutters, unable to find anything about her body that he doesn't like. "Okay... Fine. You're really hot. I saw your body in the shower and man, Ziva, you are-"

"I do not want to hear this, Tony. Ugh. Of all the people to have control over my body."

"It's either let me shower or let me smell bad, your choice."

"I would prefer you to smell if it means that you are unable to fondle my own body. You are disgusting."

"Thanks. It's part of my charm." He winks at her.

She rolls her eyes at him; they are not getting anywhere near a solution in this conversation. How can they? Tony and Ziva have always been opposites. Of course, they say opposites attract, but Ziva is not so sure that is true at the current moment. Right now, she does not feel attracted to Tony's personality. She would punch him if it weren't the fact that he was in her body. She likes her body's face. Of course... she could punch his face instead. Maybe that would get him to co-operate.

Ziva raises Tony's fist and contemplates its large size. She experimentally punches her other arm a few times and then raises her fist toward her head.

"HEY! What do you think you're doing? You can't mar my face! It's perfect! It's beautiful! Ziva! Don't! Don't do it!"

He grabs for her hand and Ziva grins evilly. "Fine, I will not punch your face _if _you co-operate with me. I want us to figure out how to change back, Tony."

He sighs. "Fine. I would've liked some more time in your body because it's kind of fun being you, but I'll help you."

They get to work, writing on notebook paper everything that occurred yesterday, trying to figure out exactly where everything went wrong.

...

But they can't figure it out. They spend hours contemplating what happened. They even backtrack to the previous day's crime scene. They don't find an answer and a sense of despair overcomes Ziva because she knows that she's going to have to go to work tomorrow as Tony Dinozzo. What's worse though is that Tony will be pretending to be her.

* * *

><p>Tony loans her some of his clothes for the next day along with his hygiene products and she does the same for him. Ziva sleeps fretfully that night and bounds out of bed to the mirror the next morning, hoping beyond hope that she's herself again, but she's still trapped in Tony's body.<p>

She hops in the shower and resists the urge to shave his legs and armpits (he is so hairy - ugh!). She puts a towel around her waist and grabs the bag of hygiene products he gave her. She gets dressed in a snappy suit but forgoes the tie. Tony forgot to give her socks so she puts on a pair of her own socks instead. The only pair large enough to fit Tony's feet are bright pink, but maybe no one will notice.

She drives to work and that is when things really get messed up.

It all started when, out of habit, she grabbed her purse as she walked out the door of her apartment.

As she strides into the bullpen, Gibbs raises an eyebrow and McGee snorts before asking, "What's with the purse, Tony? Lose another dare?"

She looks down and freezes. "Uh... Yes. I lost another dare. You are right, McGee."

McGee looks at her suspiciously. "Why are you talking without using contractions? You sound like Ziva. And why are you being so nice to me?"

She moves toward her chair without thinking and sits down. "Sometimes I feel like being nice... Probie."

"DINOZZO!"

"Yes, G-... Boss?"

"What the hell are you doing in David's chair? Go sit at your desk!" She glances down and realizes that she is indeed at the wrong desk and gets up quickly, stumbling over her feet as she moves to Tony's desk area. Ugh. Why is his body so clumsy?

She watches herself walk in a few minutes later and almost groans out loud. Dinozzo clearly does not know how to style hair because her hair is super curly and frizzy. Did he even put any product in it? Not to mention that he drew her eyeliner too high on her eyelid and put on too much blush. She looks like a makeup-obsessed teenage girl.

Great.

He sits down at her desk with a grin and powers up the computer. She does not understand why he's so happy until he opens a desk drawer and peers nosily inside. Shit. He is going to look through all of her stuff. She feels so invaded.

Her phone beeps and she glances down to see that she has received a text from him.

_You keep spare underwear in your desk drawer? _;)

She rolls her eyes and quickly texts him back.

_Shut up, Dinozzo! It is none of your business. And stop looking through my desk or I will burn your precious copy of Sports Illustrated._

Tony looks up to find her holding his copy of the magazine above a lighter she found in his desk. He immediately shuts the drawer, causing Ziva to sigh in relief because the underwear was the least of her worries in that desk. What if he found-

"DINOZZO! Stop making eyes at David and tell me what you've found so far on the victim's family. You two have a lot to make up for since you were sick yesterday."

"I thought we did not have a case, Gibbs?"

"Where have you been, Dinozzo? Of course we have a case! Remember? Bridgeport? Alley?"

Her eyes widen. That is right. Why did she ever think they did not have a case? Why did Gibbs let them off yesterday then?

"Then why did you let us have yesterday off?"

"Because if you came here after watching movies or having sex or whatever you were doing the night before you would've only caused distractions for McGee and gotten nothing done!"

"Right."

"Well... what do you have?"

Tony speaks up. "I have something, boss."

"Okay. Give me what you got, David."

Ziva sighs in relief. Unlike Tony, she is not able to pull information from her ass. She needs time to research and she begins to do just that. Figuring out how to switch bodies is going to have to wait because if Gibbs gets any angrier with her... Tony will not have a body to return to at all.

Everything goes terrific until later that morning. Ziva really has to use the bathroom so she gets up and walks into the restroom. She uses it and walks out only to find Gibbs coming her way. He stops in his tracks and stares hard at her.

"Dinozzo... why were you in the woman's restroom?"

"Uh..." Oops. She forgot to use the men's room. How could she forget that?

"I was... well.."

Gibbs gets up in her face. "If you've got a problem, you come to me, is that clear? Whatever's going on between you and Ziva needs to get cleared up. Now." He gives Dinozzo a head slap.

_Ouch! That really hurt. So he does hit Tony harder. Huh._

Gibbs walks away, leaving Ziva very confused, but when she gets back to her desk she realizes that Tony is gone. Gibbs probably thought that Tony and her were having a discussion in the woman's bathroom again.

Just when she thinks the day cannot get any worse, Tony returns with lunch and begins stuffing his face.

She hisses at him from his desk. "Ton-... Ziva!"

"Hrm?" He looks up and she notices her face's cheeks bulging from the food stuffed inside.

"I do... _You _do not eat like that, remember?"

He glances down. "Whar arb you tarking arbou?"

She rolls her eyes and walks over to him, ripping the sandwich out of his fingers and throwing it in the trash.

McGee glances up.

"Did you just throw away a perfectly good Reuben sandwich? Are you feeling okay, Tony?"

"I am feeling fine, McGee. Thank you for asking." Her statement only leaves McGee shaking his head in bewilderment.

"DAVID! DINOZZO! My office! Now!"

They look at each other and know that somehow with his magical powers of intuition (also known as his gut), Gibbs has figured out the truth.

They are in so much trouble.

**Please review. I'm open to suggestions about awkward situations for them to get into as well :). FYI, I'm planning on updating every Friday or Saturday. I'll try to stick to that schedule!  
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	3. Chapter 3

Chp 3

They step into the elevator in silence and avoid Gibbs' gaze. What are they going to say to him? Will he even believe them?

He flips the emergency over-ride switch and faces them with his arms crossed, but he doesn't say a word.

Finally, Ziva decides to speak first. "Boss. We did not mean to! We do not know how it-"

"I don't care how it happened, Dinozzo, but I'm only going to say this once. If I ever catch you and David having a sick day together again in which you were both obviously _not_ sick... and if I find out you slept together, I will personally take your badges. Rule number 12."

Tony looks up and Ziva watches her body's frizzy hair blow in his face. He swats it away in annoyance. "Never say you're sorry?"

Gibbs gives him a head slap. "No. Never date a co-worker. I expect better from you, David. Don't let it happen again."

"Yes sir."

Gibbs starts the elevator again and walks out when it reaches Abby's floor. Ziva and Tony look at each other and sigh in relief as soon as the doors close again.

"I thought for a moment there that he figured out we switched-"

"SH! Tony, do not say it out loud."

His eyes study her closely. "You know, you do a pretty crappy job of being me."

Ziva rolls her eyes. "How hard is it to be you? I just have to eat like a pig and make stupid jokes all the time and stare at all the female's butts."

"That's not all I do, Ziva. Besides, you keep using contractions. That's a dead giveaway!"

"Well... you are doing a very poor job of being me! You did not do my makeup correctly this morning and did you even put in any leave-in-conditioner in my hair like I told you?"

"I forgot."

Ziva sighs and steps out on their floor and Tony starts to walk toward the restrooms. She hurries toward him and whispers, "Do not forget to use the women's restroom, Tony."

His eyebrows raise and he grins impishly. "Oh, I won't. In fact, I think I'll enjoy it very much."

He saunters sexily away, swinging her hips and Ziva almost groans out loud. When she gets her body back, there's no way she's ever going to be able to look anyone in the eyes here again. She just hopes he doesn't get her in a relationship with another female here. That would be a mess.

* * *

><p><em>Tony's POV<em>

Somehow, he makes it through the day. Sure, being Ziva is fun and all and Tony's having a ball, but it's difficult to drop his old habits, like mentioning a movie reference or torturing McGee. He's noticed Ziva having a hard time acting like him as well. He counted at least five movie references she could have made throughout the day.

He needs to talk to her, somehow, but he doesn't know how. He discovered something last night and again this morning about her body that was... disturbing. It made him want to punch someone and Tony Dinozzo doesn't get angry very easily.

So, he asks if he can come over later that night to talk to her and she agrees, stating that they should spend as much time together as possible so that they can figure out how to switch back. He doesn't know why she hates being him so much. His body isn't _that _bad.

Tony drives to Ziva's apartment a few hours later, grateful that they managed to wrap up the case today, even though it took until 8 p.m. to do so. It's now around 9 p.m. but he doesn't care. He needs to talk to her about this.

He uses the spare key she gave him and walks in setting down a few books he got from the library about strange cases in which people claimed to have switched bodies. Who knew, right?

"Ziva?"

"I am in here." It's still weird hearing his voice coming from somewhere else. It's like a nice little echo.

He walks into the kitchen and casually leans against the counter, studying her with a serious expression. As soon as she turns around, however, he immediately smiles. He doesn't want her to know how upset he truly feels.

"Wow! Smells terrific! What'cha makin'? Something good, I hope?"

"It is chicken stew." He leans over her and grabs the spoon before licking it.

"Tony!"

"What? Oh, sorry. Can't help it." He winks at her and receives a small smile in turn.

All throughout dinner he jokes and attempts to get her to laugh because he frankly wants to avoid discussing this serious issue with her, but she knows him too well.

"Tony, stop. What is wrong?"

Shit. "What do you mean? I mean, besides the fact that I'm you and you're me and Gibbs is, well, Gibbs?"

He watches his eyes study himself. Weird. "Are you worried we will not change back?"

He shrugs Ziva's petite shoulders. "Yeah, but I'm actually... I need to talk to you about something else too."

"Well?"

"It's kind of awkward but, when I was taking a shower, I couldn't help but notice the scars on your chest and back. I mean, I know Somalia was bad but why didn't you tell us, Ziva?"

Her eyes glance down and refuse to meet his own. "What did you want me to say? Oh, by the way, while I was in Somalia they raped, burned, and cut me? Yes, Tony, that would really help things return to normal."

"Ziva, look at me." She refuses, so he pushes up her jaw. Her chin, rough with stubble, feels scratchy against his fingers.

"I'm sorry, that's all. I should have been there for you."

She smiles slightly and says hoarsely, "You have always been there for me, Tony. But, thank you."

"Same to you."

She smiles and they resume eating for a while until Tony exclaims, "Man, I'm so sore. How much have you been working out lately?" Ziva glances up at him with a bewildered expression on her face.

"You are sore?"

"Yeah. My stomach is aching so badly along with my legs and lower back too."

Ziva laughs in surprise and smirks knowingly before going to the bathroom and retrieving something. She hands it to him and he glances down: a tampon?

"Welcome to the world of women, Tony."

"You mean, I, uh, _you, _have your period and that's what the pain is from?" She nods and tries to suppress her laughter at his chagrined look.

He groans, "Well this is just terrific, isn't it?"

**Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing/alerting! You guys are awesome! Please keep reviewing! It helps motivate me :)  
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	4. Chapter 4

"Zee-vaahhhhh..." His moan almost makes her laugh except he sounds in such distress.

"Yes?"

"I feel like shit. How do you deal with this every month? I've never hated men so much in my life!"

She rolls her eyes. "Grow a pair, Tony, and get over it. It is not such a big deal."

"Did Ziva David just tell me to grow a pair? Have you been watching American television again? I certainly didn't teach you that term. But, you know, believe it or not, I used to have a pair. Either way, I've decided I don't like being you anymore."

"Why is that?" They're walking into NCIS together for another day of work. Tony offered to drive Ziva to work because they are going to his apartment tonight again anyway to attempt to figure this whole thing out. They didn't have much luck yesterday. They spent an hour brainstorming ideas of how this could have happened before they both fell asleep at the table, exhausted from the case. Luckily, they are here early and hardly anyone has arrived so they can speak freely about their situation.

"Well, on top of learning what cramps feel like, I almost killed myself with a razor today when I was shaving in the shower."

She glances down at her body's legs (Tony decided to wear a dress today) and notices a few cuts. "What happened?"

He looks down and then glances at her sheepishly. "I...uh, well, I was using the shaver as a microphone to sing and the sharp part was facing towards my mouth and I cut my lip. But it could've been my throat."

"Do not be such a baby, Tony."

"I am not being a baby. It was "Don't Stop the Beat". You can't not sing along to that! Besides, you need to watch your insults. Don't forget that I am Very Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo, your supreme leader, Probie."

She raises an eyebrow. "Not at the moment. You are playing me, remember? _I _am the team leader now, as far as everyone is concerned."

He wrinkles her body's cute nose at her. "All the more reason to change back. Besides, I miss... well, you know..."

Her facial expression shows confusion for a moment until she suddenly guesses, "Jerking off?"

At that very moment, Gibbs, with his impeccable timing, hurries into the room.

"You'll have time for that later, Dinozzo. We have another case. Well? C'mon! Get going and call McGee! He's late!" The two agents look at him and don't move; they're completely mortified. They finally snap back into action after a head slap from Gibbs and grab their backpacks and guns.

Tony looks at her after Gibbs is a few feet away and whispers, "That's not what I meant. I was going to say making movie references. That was totally your fault. He'll never look at me the same once I get my body back."

She shrugs her shoulders. "Sorry."

"No you're not."

"Well... you did play that trick on me last week."

"It was only a little superglue."

"A LITTLE? You almost succeeded in gluing me to my chair!"

"So?"

"So, I am not done getting revenge on you yet. Thank you for reminding me about that little incident."

"What are you going to do?"

She looks at him with a twinkle in her eye. "Skip." With that she skips away like a little girl and Tony groans. His reputation is going to be shot. What woman in this office will want to date him after seeing that?

* * *

><p><em>Gibbs' POV<em>

Leroy Jethro Gibbs is a very observant man when it comes to his agents. He knows that if even one of them hesitates or becomes distracted, they could put the lives of the entire team in danger. That's why he's concerned about Ziva and Tony. They are both acting extremely strange. He ponders this as he drives the van to the location of the murder scene and sends piercing gazes at both of the said individuals.

Not only has he seen them researching something during their breaks but he's also noticed odd behavior. Dinozzo skipping? Carrying a purse? Wearing vanilla lotion? And Ziva: her messed up makeup and lewd glances at the other women.

What the hell is going on? He wonders if they are playing a trick or attempting to act like each other. If so, they're doing a damn good job. He doesn't know what they're up to but he's going to keep a close eye on them, just in case. He can't afford to lose his best two agents over a stupid game, if that's what this is.

Because Gibbs doesn't like games.

* * *

><p>After a long day working on their new case, Tony and Ziva stumble into his apartment and collapse on the couch and armchair. Tony lifts his head up and blows Ziva's hair out of his face before looking at her wearily.<p>

"Chinese?"

"Okay. We should try a new restaurant."

Tony grabs his phone book and sits next to Ziva on the couch as they thumb through the Chinese restaurant ads. Tony points to one, _Chinese Dragon_ and looks at Ziva questioningly. "I've never tried that place before."

She shrugs. "Fine with me."

Tony gets the directions for the restaurant and they hop in the car to go pick it up. Once they arrive at the brown, shabby building, Tony lets out a very unmanly gasp.

Ziva glances at him. "What is wrong?"

"Ziva! This is right by the crime scene we visited the day before we switched bodies!"

"So?"

"The old lady gave us a fortune cookie, remember?"

A pause, then, "You are saying a _fortune cookie_ caused this whole thing to happen, Tony? What the hell are you off?"

Tony hits Ziva on the arm, forgetting that it's his body and that it will probably bear a bruise later. "Whoa, Ziva. I've never heard you talk that way. It's not like you. And it's 'what the hell are you on', not off. Look, this is just like Freaky Friday: Chinese restaurant owner gives the characters fortune cookies and then characters switch bodies. Jamie Lee Curtis was in it and Mark Harmon-_the _Mark Harmon. Please tell me you've seen it?"

She has a blank look on her face. "No, I have not, and I still do not understand what a _fortune cookie _could possibly do to cause-"

He sighs. "I can't believe you haven't seen it. Just trust me, okay, Ziv?"

"Okay, but I am starting to think that the inability to jerk off has caused you to go crazy."

He hops out of the car and slams the door before replying, "For the last time I was talking about movie references!"

** Thanks for the reviews and please review this chapter! :) If I get a lot, I will update the next chapter on Monday since this one is a little shorter (and still update on Friday like normal, of course) :).**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

They walk into the dimly lit restaurant and Tony orders the meal. Ziva wanders around the entryway, studying all the sayings in Chinese and smiling at a few of them.

A vaguely familiar older lady walks up to her quietly and says, "Do you speak Chinese?"

Ziva replies, "Huì jiǎng yī diǎn."

The lady smiles widely. "Very good." She's just about to say something else when Tony appears.

"Ziva? Maybe we should see if that lady who gave us the fortune cookies is still here and ask how we can change back!"

He glances at the older woman. "Wait... are you the one who gave us the cookies? You look familiar." He points at the old lady and she glances around, clearly desperate for an escape.

"I do not know what you are talking about. If you will excuse me-"

Tony gives Ziva a nod to block the woman's path but she only sighs. "I am sorry about my partner. He is very tired at the moment and confused."

Since Ziva obviously isn't going to help, Tony grabs the woman's arm to prevent her from getting away.

Once she realizes that Tony is not going to let her go, the woman is silent for a moment before she states. "I am afraid there is nothing I can do to change you back myself. You must do it."

"How?"

"When you finally view life from one another's perspectives and learn to get along, you will change back."

Ziva's mouth drops open. "You mean it was you? When will we know that has happened? We could be stuck this way for months!"

The lady shrugs. "I am sorry. There is nothing else I can do. It is up to you."

Ziva storms out of the restaurant and Tony hurries after her, listening to her mutter: "I am going to kill her. I will not even use my gun. I will use my longest knife, with the sharpest edges."

"Chill out, Ziva! We'll figure this out. I mean, how hard can it be for us to understand each other?"

She laughs tersely and watches her body's shoulders slump as Tony admits, "Okay, you're right. We're screwed."

They drive back to Tony's apartment and eat silently, both too upset to voice their worries: What if they are stuck like this forever?

After dinner, Tony has the bright idea to show Ziva ALL of his pictures from his childhood, vacations, family, and a million more memories that Ziva frankly does not want to know about. For some reason he thinks that it will help her "understand" him better and that they will switch back by just showing each other a few photos.

She questions his intelligence sometimes. It simply cannot be that easy. Then, Tony has another idea.

"Okay, so in _Freaky Friday_ the mom and daughter finally manage to change back after they make this cute little speech about how the other person can do what they want. The mom says the daughter can play in her band and the daughter says the mom can get married. So, I think if you and I give each other permission to do whatever we want because it's important to us, we'll change back."

"Tony. That is the stupidest idea you have ever come up with."

"C'mon, Zee-vah. Are you too chicken?"

"What is this fascination with you Americans and chicken? I do not even like eating chicken."

"It means you're too scared. So, will you do it or not?"

"I do not understand what chickens have to do with being scared, but at least you are not asking me to have sex with you."

"Yet. OW!" Ziva made sure to hit Tony extra hard on the arm for that one.

"Fine, I will do it."

Tony grins knowing that he's won the argument. "All right. I'll start. Ziva David, I give you permission to marry whoever you want."

"Tony, I give you permission to marry whoever you want."

"Ziva, I give you permission to have sex with anyone you want, even women, probie."

"Do not call me Probie. Tony, I give you permission to have sex with anyone you want, even men. Of course you would probably like it considering how you kissed that man a few years back."

"I thought he was a woman! Um... Ziva I give you permission to be happy."

She sighs. "Tony, this is stupid. We are not going to get anywhere by saying things."

He flops down on his couch with a moan and picks up a half-eaten carton of noodles from the Chinese place. "What do you think we should do then?"

"I do not know."

"Well that's just peachy isn't it." He sighs in defeat and crosses his legs before glancing down with a contemplative expression. "Have you ever thought about how uncomfortable testicles really are?"

Ziva looks at him in surprise. "You are not staying as me, Tony."

"I was just making a statement, Zee-vah."

Ziva rolls her eyes, but before she can say anything, Tony snaps, "Be careful, they could get stuck that way."

She might just end up slitting his throat before this is through.

* * *

><p><em>Ziva's POV<em>

Ziva arrives at her apartment, ready for a good night's sleep, when Tony's cell phone rings. They switched phones because they were starting to get weird looks when someone called Tony and Ziva picked up, and vice-versa. Gibbs told them to knock it off.

Ziva hesitates, not wanting to pick up the phone because she just wants to sleep, but she gives in.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tony. Where are you?" McGee's voice is a little too chipper for this time of evening.

"What the hell, Probie? It's almost 10 p.m. and we have to work tomorrow! What do you mean, where am I?" She congratulates herself in her thoughts for sounding so much like Tony.

"Uh... last week we decided to go get drinks tonight, remember?"

"Oh. I forgot. Sorry. It is just that we have been so busy with work."

"I know. It's okay. Are you feeling all right though, Tony? You've been acting kind of weird."

"I, um, I am just not feeling very well, Tim. Thank you for asking."

"Now I know something's wrong. You just called me Tim. What's up?" The concern in his voice is evident.

She says the first thing that pops into her mind and regrets it immediately. "I am just dealing with female issues."

Dead silence. Ziva realizes what she said, still trapped in Tony's body. Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit. He thinks he meant she's on her period, which is impossible because she's Tony. She has to fix this, now. Mcgee can't know what's going on.

"I meant that I-"

"What's her name, Tony?"

"What?"

"What's her name-this female you're having issues with?"

Ziva sighs in relief and then is stumped. Once again her tired brain says the first thing that pops into her head. "Ziva!"

"Ziva? I KNEW IT! Abby owes me 50 bucks. Gotta go, Tony. I have to call, Abby. Good luck asking out Ziva!"

McGee hangs up and Ziva stares at the phone in shock, wondering what she's just done.

"Tony is going to kill me."

* * *

><p><em>Tony's POV<em>

_RING!RING!RING!_

He glances at her cellphone and smiles when he sees who's calling. "Hey Ziva. What's up? Did you figure out how to change back yet?"

"No, I did not. We have a problem."

"What sort of problem?"

"Well. McGee called and asked where I was. Apparently you two had set up to meet for drinks tonight-"

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that! What did you say?"

"I told him that I am too tired and he asked what is wrong because I have been acting weird. I told him female issues. I meant PMS... but Tony he asked who the woman was and I said me."

Tony takes a second to process all this before he explodes. "You WHAT?"

"I told him you like me."

"Terrific, Ziva. Now you have to walk around like some lovesick puppydog while Probie gloats."

"Oh, you knew about the bet?"

"What bet?" He's practically growling.

"He bet that you and I would get together with Abby and he won."

"I can't believe this! Probie?"

"Yes."

"Look, Ziva. I can't deal with this right now. I've got to be somewhere. Don't sleep too nicely. Be prepared to moon over me tomorrow."

"Moon? Is that not with the moon outside and-"

"Nevermind. Cya, Zee-vah. Don't do anything too crazy with my body."

He hangs up with a shake of his head in disbelief. Who knew that Probie would dare to bet on him? He feels bad for hanging up on Ziva but he really does have to be somewhere. He walks through the grass and allows the breeze to cool his skin. The nice thing about Ziva's body is that she hardly ever sweats, but it still feels great.

This is the first peace and quiet that he's had all week and it brings to the forefront of his mind all the worries plaguing him. There are certain things Tony Dinozzo doesn't want other people to know about and that's why he wants more than anything to change back to his own body. At first, it was all fun and games, being Ziva. But after he realized what she could find out about him, he wanted to change back immediately.

This isn't easy to admit but Tony knows, deep in his heart, that it's true: he's scared. He's worried that he's going to have to open up to Ziva in order for them to change back. Otherwise, how else is she going to understand the real him?

Sure, everyone knows that Ziva David is very careful about who she lets into her life and what she tells them; what they don't know is that the Tony Dinozzo they see every day is just a farce. He's a jokester because it keeps the others from seeing the real him. Only Gibbs has guessed at this; Probie and Ziva have no clue. They don't know the real Tony Dinozzo and he doesn't want them to.

He doesn't want them to see how vulnerable he truly is. He doesn't want them to see the hurt in his past and his fears about ending up all alone. He doesn't want them to see how damaged he is and then try to fix him. It's just easier to pretend like everything is okay; that he doesn't care, even though he really does.

He stops at his destination and looks down. He gets on his knees and rubs his hand over his face in fatigue. He's exhausted but it doesn't matter. Even if it is late, he needed to come here. Finally, he attempts a smile, but it falls flat. Here, he can't pretend. He could never pretend with her.

He touches the cold granite gravestone and clears his throat as he whispers, "Hi Emily."

* * *

><p>Huì jiǎng yī diǎn - Yes, a little.<p>

"Have you ever thought about how uncomfortable testicles really are?"-From WLIIA (USA)

He doesn't want them to see how damaged he is and then try to fix him. - I got that from HOUSE MD, Season 1 Episode 19(?). I'd like to take credit for it but I can't even though it's not a direct quote. I've been so obsessed with House lately, though, that when I watched the new NCIS episode, I realized I was waiting for the guy they focused on in the beginning to fall over and have a seizure or something. haha :)

**Review please :).**


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Abby pounces on Ziva as soon as she walks into the bullpen.

"TONYTONYTONY! Didyouaskheryet?"

"Umph." She just manages to catch Abby, who flings herself at Ziva. "Uh, what?"

She steps back with her hands on her hips. "I'm so proud of you, Tony, for _finally_ figuring out that you love Ziva, but seriously? You need to man up and ask her out already."

Damn. She forgot about the whole "liking Ziva" mistake that she made when talking to McGee on the phone last night. McGee obviously told Abby when he collected the money from the bet.

"I will Abby. Just not now. Later."

Abby pouts. "To-nnnyyy. C'mon. Don't be such a nitwit. Just ask her already."

"A what?"

She shrugs. "Nitwit. First thing that popped into my head. I've only had two caf-pows this morning so far. Just... ask her out already, okay?" With that, she walks off to her lab, apparently satisfied with the conversation.

Ziva just sighs and shakes her head as she sits down in Tony's chair. What has she gotten herself into?

Ziva wonders what's going through Tony's mind this week. He clearly likes being her; that's obvious. What she does not get are the looks he sends her way when he thinks she is not looking. He looks concerned and worried about her or someone or this situation. Who knows?

All she knows is that hanging up on her when she is trying to have a conversation like he did last night does not help her feel good about this situation because he is doing it again: ignoring her. He's been doing it for years, ever since Somalia, and Ziva hates that he does it.

He admitted face to face with her that he had come to die with her because he could not stand to live without her. What he did not count on was actually getting out of there, surviving, and having to face her every day. He did not want her to know and she had been unable to tell him she felt the same way due to the trauma she experienced and the long recovery. By the time she felt relatively normal again and wanted to tell him of her feelings, it was too late. He thought she was not interested.

And typical Tony, what situations he cannot fix, he ignores.

Not that she is any better. She cannot open up to him and that's why they're never going to change back. There are secrets she does not want to share with him.

Like the fact that she loves him; for all of his annoying qualities, Tony Dinozzo is a sensitive man underneath it all. She's seen glimpses of it during more serious moments in her life, like when he came to die with her in Somalia.

She knew it then, seeing him after so many months of loneliness and torture. Seeing his face and the concern there made her want to cry and tell him how much she had missed him. That's why she was willing to die for him. She would always be willing to do anything for him. Just like she knew he would always be there for her.

There were the little things that made her love him too:

Like how when he whispered in her ears once he thought she was asleep, telling her she is beautiful.

Or the fact that every Saturday he visited the Humane Society as a volunteer but had never told anyone. She had found out by accident one weekend, when she had decided to volunteer there too.

Or the fact that every night she spent at his house, he could have taken advantage of her, but he didn't.

And, of course, his body _certainly_ did not put her off either.

Ziva powers up her computer and whispers the words she has always wanted to hear in his deep, rough voice.

"I love you, Ziva."

At that moment McGee walks in, ready for a new day at NCIS and overhears her. "Just keep practicing it, Tony. Eventually you'll work up the guts to say it to her face."

Ziva closes her eyes, mortified that McGee as heard her but manages to snap back, "Be quiet, Probie. Do you not have some work to do or something?"

McGee only shrugs. "No cases yet and Gibbs still hasn't arrived to collect my report on last week's case. Just leaves me with loads of time to talk to you about Ziva. How did you figure out that you were in love with her, anyway?"

"I...uh...I-"

"Clearly, she... I mean, he, could not get me out of his enormously intelligent and handsome mind."

Both agents look up in shock as Tony strides in, wearing a black dress that's daringly short. Ziva feels anger boil up within her. What the hell does he think he is doing wearing something that short?

"Do you not think that skirt is a little... inappropriate, Ziva?"

He grins and daringly puts his legs up on the desk, causing heads to turn as those walking by are heading to their desks.

"I don't know. I was just feeling sexy today." He winks at her.

"Yes, but this is a workplace. You should follow the rules, T-Ziva."

"Rules, Shmules. I have never followed the rules."

"Yes I... Yes you have!"

He only raises an eyebrow and grins. What is wrong with him? McGee watches the exchange in bewilderment, wandering what the hell is going on with these two.

At that moment, Gibbs walks in and drops a huge pile of manila files on Tony and Ziva's desks. "Time to argue about the dress code later, Dinozzo. The victim apparently has quite a history. McGee, look up information on his finances. Ziva, check his medical records. Tony, his police records. Maybe it will give us a clue as to why he was targeted."

All three simultaneously groan, albeit quietly enough not to get head-slapped.

After four long hours of paperwork on cold cases, Gibbs finally allows them to go eat lunch. Tony and Ziva rush off to the Chinese restaurant to again talk to the creepy lady who had caused this whole mess. Tony, being himself, insists on driving.

As soon as they are out of the base, Ziva turns on him. "What is _wrong _with you? Why would dare to wear such a short skirt! It is very inappropriate, Tony!

He glances at her out of the corner of his eye. "Aw. C'mon, Ziva, I was just having a little fun."

"Doing what, may I ask? Are you trying to attract all the men in this building to you?"

Tony splutters. "N-no! Of course not! It's just that your body is so hot and I couldn't help it?"

"That is a lame excuse, Tony. I gave you plenty of my clothes and not only do you manage to pick out the one inappropriate work outfit that somehow slide past me but you choose to wear it to work?"

"It's 'slipped past', not 'slide past'. Well, yeah, and the fact that this was the only outfit I had left. I need to do some laundry."

"I gave you almost _all _my clothes! They cannot all be dirty already."

"What can I say? I'm a messy man." He honks at a passing car who cuts him off. "What an idiot."

She mutters, "That's an understatement. Look, I will do your laundry for you tonight if you want as long as you do not show up to work like this again."

"Thanks!" He flashes her a smile but is barely able to hide the smug look on his face and she wonders if it was his plan to get her to do it for him all along, but then, something else occurs to her.

"Tony, why did you not have time to do laundry last night?"

"Uh... Well. I was busy."

"Doing what?"

"Working."

"On what? Gibbs sent us home."

"Just stuff, Ziva. It's no big deal." She lets the subject drop but it nags at her because she knows he's lying to her but she does not know why.

Finally, they make it to the Chinese restaurant. Tony walks in and chats with a worker, trying to figure out if the mysterious woman who cast this spell on them is here today. He walks back over to her.

"She'll be back in about ten. She went to the bank."

"Okay. Do you want to get some food while we wa-Mmph!" Ziva feels small, muscular arms grab around her neck and a soft, sensuous mouth on her own. What the fuck?

She pulls away from him. "What are-" He muffles her statement again with another kiss. She focuses all her energy on ignoring him but it doesn't work. Those sensuous lips... that scent... it envelops her and she kisses him back as her arms wrap around a tiny waist. She releases a moan of delight, surprised at Tony's body's reaction to her own. Has the attraction to her always been this strong for him?

Yet, an unwelcome voice soon breaks into this joyous piece of heaven on Earth. "Tony? Tony _Dinozzo_?"

She pulls back from Tony and looks up at the woman standing in front of them, clearly trying to hide a jealous expression. Tony steps forward. "Hello. We did not see you there. You must be Wendy. Tony has told me so much about you."

"He has?"

"Why yes. You are his... ex-girlfriend, yes?"

Wendy only raises a brow. "And _who_ are _you_?"

"I am his girlfriend, Ziva." Tony gives her a charming smile and Ziva groans. He kissed her to make the infamous Wendy feel jealous. He must have spotted her as they were talking. Ziva feels something inside her deflate... for a second there she almost thought he was seriously interested in her.

At that moment, she spots the crazy restaurant woman whose name they still do not know. "Excuse us, Wendy, but we have to talk to someone." She walks away without a backward glance, dragging Tony with her, and trying to savor the guilty satisfaction of being rude to his still-enamored ex.

They head toward the woman, but, before they get there, Ziva whispers, "Kiss me again and I will kill you in your sleep, Tony."

He has the decency to actually look a little remorseful before he smiles slightly. "Liked it that much, huh?"

**FYI, next chapter things start to heat up between them (finally), if you catch my drift, so stay tuned. Thanks for reviewing/alerting! It means a lot to me! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I wasn't going to post this so soon (so I apologize for typos), but I felt like it. I'll post again sometime in the middle-end of next week. Thanks for the reviews/alerts! :)  
><strong>

**There is some mature sexual content ahead (18y+), just warning you.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Just a few minutes later, they leave the restaurant in a huff because the woman refused to help them again.<p>

Ziva is beyond annoyed. "I cannot believe there is _nothing_ she can do. She is lying. We should do something, Tony!"

"Like what exactly, Ziva? Do you want me to arrest her on charges of sorcery? For not having a license to practice magic? Oh! I know! Because she didn't ask our permission before she performed a spell on us! That will definitely get her sent to jail!"

She ignores his sarcasm. "Arrest her for being an idiot. That would work. Or I can just kill her."

He only laughs. "Oh yeah, that'll work. Gibbs will think we've completely lost it!"

"Fine. Then we need to figure this out. I am coming over tonight to do your laundry so we can figure it out then. By the end of tonight, we will have changed back."

"Or what?"

"Or... or I will tell Abby what is going on and get her forensic advice."

He stops in his tracks. "If you tell her, it will be all over the office in a matter of minutes, Ziva. You know she can't keep her mouth shut."

Ziva shrugs. "So what? No one would believe her. Only Abby is crazy enough to believe this anyway. Let us go, Tony. We need to get back to NCIS before Gibbs calls us and yells."

He gets in the car and they drive off, both silent as they wonder if they will be stuck this way forever.

When they arrive back at NCIS, Gibbs is luckily nowhere to be found, so they don't receive any head slaps for being late from lunch.

The three agents work for about an hour (with Tony and Ziva occasionally sending glances at each other, as usual) when Tony's cell phone rings.

Ziva picks it up and frowns; she does not recognize the number.

"Hello?"

_"Hey! If it isn't my cousin Tony! How are you doing, today, cuz?"_

She does not know what to do. It is not like she can walk up to Tony and tell him his cousin is on the phone because McGee is sitting right there. So, she continues with the conversation, figuring she will give Tony the message from his cousin after she hangs up and they can get away from McGee.

"I am good. How are you?"

_"All right. Listen, we both know why I'm calling. How are you holding up today?"  
><em>

"I am okay... why are you calling?"

_"Seriously, Tony? Today would be 8 years since she... died. You never forget._ _Anyway, I was just calling you like I always do. I mean, she was my best friend, after all."_

"Who was?"

The voice on the other end becomes slightly angry. _"What the hell, Tony? Don't mess with me. I still really miss her, even if you have obviously forgotten! I just... I don't even know why I bothered calling you because you clearly don't want to talk about her, but Emily was my best friend. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in missing her. Guess I was wrong about you missing her."_

Who is Emily? "I am sorry. Of course I miss... her. I did not forget. I just did not want to talk about it. That is all."

_"All right. It's fine. I know you're under a lot of stress. Love you, cuz. Keep in touch, okay?"_

"Okay. Bye."

Ziva hangs up and looks up to find Tony watching her suspiciously. She gets out her phone and texts him.

Who is Emily? Your cousin just called to say she is sorry?

Ziva watches Tony reach for his phone, read her message, and then he looks up at her, his eyes wide in surprise. With a gasp, she sees the pain he is unable to hide in that unguarded moment and she is unprepared for the utter brokenness she sees there. It makes her want to get up and hug him... or kiss him again.

But now is NOT the time to think about kissing him again, she reminds herself for the thousandth time that afternoon. She will just have to corner him later to talk about this Emily. Why did he never tell her?

* * *

><p>They FINALLY manage to finish their case that afternoon and catch the killer. It's eight at night before they can leave due to the paperwork, but at least they are free for the rest of the evening. They drive to Tony's apartment in silence because Ziva doesn't know how to bring up this conversation. She finally works up her nerve by the time they arrive at the apartment and order the pizza.<p>

"Tony... who is Emily?"

He sighs and refuses to look at her. "No one. It's not important, Ziva. She's dead."

"Yes, but clearly she mattered to you. I need to know, Tony. How do you expect us to change back if I do not understand certain parts of your life? You are keeping secrets from me."

"_I'm _keeping secrets from _you?_ What about your scars, Ziva? Huh? You never told me about those! Give me a break! I've had a long day!" He abruptly stands up and begins to storm to the kitchen.

She says nothing at his outburst and simply waits. His shoulders slump halfway to the kitchen and his feet stop. "I'm sorry."

"It is okay."

He comes back to her slowly and sits next to her on the couch. He remains silent for a while before saying quietly, "She was my sister."

"Your sister?" And despite the fact that she is sad for his loss, Ziva cannot help but feel a sense of relief that it was only his sister and not a girlfriend. Not someone who would still have his heart in that way. She immediately feels ashamed for her thoughts.

"What happened, Tony?"

"Car crash. She was a year younger than me. She was my best friend and then... she was gone. A drunk driver hit her. And I didn't even get to say goodbye. The last thing I said to her was that I'd talk to her tomorrow. I never got to tell her how much I loved her. I called her cell and distracted her while she was driving home from a friends... maybe she would've seen the driver, and-"

"NO! Tony, do not say that! It was not your fault."

"I know. Or so they tell me. I just miss her, Ziv. That's all. There's not a day that goes by where I still don't think about her. Did you know after she died I kept thinking about something or another I wanted to tell her and I actually picked up the phone before I remembered she wasn't there anymore?"

She has never had him open up to her so much and now he is finally being honest with her. He is letting her see his brokenness and she does not know how to deal with this Tony. She does the only thing that can help him.

She sneaks his body's large arms around her own body's little waist and Tony cuddles into her. They are so close and if she just moved her lips a little more... No, but now is not the time to think of this. He needs comfort, not a kiss.

They ignore the chime of the doorbell announcing the arrival of the pizza. They ignore their phones. She continues holding him and they fall asleep that way.

* * *

><p>The sunlight penetrates his subconscious and he sits up suddenly, disrupting Ziva, who was holding him in her strong arms. She moans in protest and turns back over with a snore.<p>

Shit. They fell asleep on the couch? He checks his watch. Dammit! It's 8:30 a.m. They're a half-hour late for work. Gibbs is going to kill them!

He gets up and looks at Ziva. How is she still asleep? He practically threw her off the couch. She lets out another snore and he cannot help but grimace. He really hopes he doesn't snore like that.

He nudges her shoulder. "Ziva? Wake up!" No response. "ZIVA! Wake up already!" Nothing. "ZIVA! WAKE UP! WE'RE LATE FOR WORK!" With a gasp she wrenches upward and he finds a gun being pressed into his neck.

"Mmmm... what?"

"Uh. Never mind. Go back to sleep."

She moans and turns over.

He heads for the shower, muttering, "Crazy chick."

Halfway through his shower he remembers, it's Saturday! No wonder Gibbs hasn't stormed over here and chewed them out yet. Relief makes its way through him and he finally smiles, able to enjoy the fact that Ziva is currently sleeping on his couch. Again.

He loves it when she's at his apartment. He continues scrubbing and starts to sing Frank Sinatra.

* * *

><p>She wakes up with a start to the sound of... singing? She realizes she is in Tony's apartment and just as quickly realizes that it is Saturday. She also notices that she is still Tony and a feeling of desperation comes over her.<p>

Nothing is working. Tony was honest with her last night and she thought they would have changed back now that she understands him better and the pain he deals with, but they are not changed back.

And she is getting desperate because there is something she has not told Tony:

Her best friend is getting married and Ziva is going to the wedding. There is no way she is letting Tony go back to Israel and see her friend instead of her. That is her homeland. That is the friend she has not seen since the terrible bombing that killed the third person in their trio of friends. That is the friend she has not seen since she was eight years old.

It is time to take things into her own hands. There is only one thing they have not tried.

She stands up slowly and stretches his large body before sighing. It is not like she is actually going to be doing it with him. Technically, she will being doing it with herself, right?

She walks with hesitance to his bathroom and opens the door, sheds her clothes, and steps into the shower.

"AHHHHHHH!"

The neighbors definitely heard him scream.

* * *

><p>"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DO-Mmm-" His voice trails off in her onslaught of kisses on Ziva's sensuous mouth.<p>

She assaults him, pressing her body's small form against the shower wall as the water cascades over them.

He feels Ziva's body react to his own and revels in the kiss. She bites gently on his lower lip and he opens his mouth, allowing her to enter. Her tongue and his tangle in a dance of dominance as the scent of the shampoo and the feel of her (really his?) hands on Ziva's body overwhelms him.

Her mouth latches onto his left breast and she flicks the hardening point with her tongue. He feels her erection against her body's soft stomach and feels his own breasts push firmly into her hard chest. Her muscled arms gently squeeze him, sending tingles down his spine.

He moans, but it turns to a cry of surprise when her hand finds Ziva's body's clit and massages it in circles.

"Yes! Ziva, more!"

She increases the speed of the circles; yet just as she positions herself and is about to push into him... he stops her.

"Stop!" I-I-I can't." His breathing is labored from the coming orgasm but she listens to him.

"What is wrong, Tony?"

"I'm sorry Ziva, I can't do this. This isn't my body and it just feels wrong."

She steps back in amazement, hardly believing that he would not want to have sex with her.

"That cannot be the real reason, Tony. You do not turn down sex. Ever."

He refuses to look at her as he says, "This isn't how I wanted it to be... with you. I wanted to be the one making love to you, in my own body. I'm sorry, Ziva, I can't do this. I-I care about you too much to do this to us."

She has no words. Nothing to say in response. Does this mean he loves her? But he did not say that and suddenly she feels rejected.

A voice in the back of her mind tells her that he does not really want her.

He never will.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I know. I was going to do a full-out sex scene with them but it was just too weird because they're not in their own bodies, haha. Don't worry, there will be one later :). Please review!<br>**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all the reviews! :)**

After the whole "almost having sex with your own body in a creepy sort of way" fiasco, Ziva ran out of Tony's apartment and refused to speak to him the rest of the weekend.

But it's Monday and she knows she's going to see him today and that it's going to be awkward.

She sighs and sits down at her desk and is about to power up the computer when Gibbs barks out, "DINOZZO! How many times do I have to tell you to sit at your own damn desk?"

Oops. She looks up and realizes that she's sitting at her own desk again. It's the habit of so many years of working and practically living at this desk during their cases.

"Sorry, Boss. It won't happen again. I am just not feeling like myself today." Gibbs only grunts in response and gets up to go get his third cup of coffee in the last hour.

Tony walks in and overhears her statement. "Interesting weekend, Da... Dinozzo?"

She ignores him and refuses to meet his glance. In fact, things are so awkward between them that they hardly speak the whole morning as they go about their work.

It's not until lunchtime, when they're back at NCIS and Ziva is working at Tony's desk that he comes up to her.

"Hey," he says quietly. "We need to talk. Want to get lunch?"

She shrugs and refuses to look up as she finishes studying a case file on her desk. In fact, she plans on ignoring him entirely until she hears a gasp.

"I can't believe this!"

She looks up at him bewildered. "What? That I am ignoring you? It is hardly that surprising given what happened."

He shakes his head and swats his hand at her in annoyance. "No, no. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about... Man! Just bend your head back down."

"What?"

"Just do it!"

She complies, pretending to study the paperwork on his desk again, and feels a soft hand probing the top of her skull. "What are you doing?" She hisses.

He sits down on his desk, clearly in shock. "I can't believe it."

"What! What is wrong?" He sounds like he's discovered a terminal disease.

"Ziva." He looks up at her with such a serious expression that it strikes fear through her heart. "I... I think I'm balding."

An expression of disbelief comes over her and she starts laughing, making him get defensive. "This isn't funny, Da... Mc... Whatever your name is! I'm _balding_, did you hear? This is horrible! Dinozzo men do not bald!"

At that moment Gibbs walks back in. "Everyone balds. It's a fact of life. What? C'mon! We have places to be! I'll explain on the way."

The pair look at each other and shrug as they follow him to the van.

* * *

><p>It's not until later that night that Tony finally manages to corner Ziva and gets her to talk. On their way to their cars, he waits until McGee has left the elevator, and then hits the emergency switch after the door closes.<p>

She only crosses her muscular arms in a defensive stance. "I am not talking to you."

"Too bad. We need to talk. Why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Assault me in the shower? Did you forget?"

"Oh. That. I just wanted to have sex with myself, Tony. You were the one who suggested it when we first switched bodies, remember?"

He peers at her suspiciously. "C'mon, Ziva! That's bullshit and you know it. Why did you do it?"

"I did not know what else to do."

"Well... we could've at least gone on a date first if you were so interested. You know, dinner and movie. Then you invite me back to your apartment, we talk and try to impress the other person, and _then_ we have sex. That's how it generally works."

"No. That is not what I meant, Tony! I... I want to change back but I do not see how it is going to happen. I am desperate. I thought maybe if we had sex..."

"You wanted to have sex with me so we would change back? Seriously? Why does it matter when we change back? It's bound to happen eventually."

"Because it just does!"

"What are you not telling me?" He gets in her face and makes it impossible for her to look away.

"I am pregnant."

He looks down at her body's flat stomach in shock and nearly chokes in disbelief. "WHAT? How is that possible? You just... I just... WHAT?"

She smirks. "Okay. Fine. I am not pregnant. But that was fun to watch."

"Not funny. You're just trying to distract me so that I get angry or something and forget that I'm asking you why you feel this sudden urgent need to change back immediately. Very James Bond of you."

"My best friend is getting married."

"Uh, congratulations?"

"I am in the wedding."

"Oh. Great."

"It is in Israel."

"Shit."

"And... I have not seen her in years. I am _not _letting you go instead of me, Tony! That is why I need to change back. The wedding is only in a few weeks!"

He runs his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Ziva. I didn't know. You're right. We have to figure this out. It's not fair to you."

She looks at him in surprise and he grimaces. "What? Don't tell me you really think I can't be sensitive sometimes? I'm a very sensitive man."

"Sure, Tony. So, what do we do?"

"I think it's time to enlist some help, as much as I hate to say it."

"Who do you have in mind?"

"The wonderful and spectacular Ms. Abigail Scuito."

* * *

><p>"Are you fucking DRUNK?"<p>

"No. We are completely serious, Abby."

"Tony, Ziva - whoever the hell you are - that's physically IMPOSSIBLE! Switching bodies breaks at least a hundred commonly accepted scientific rules and facts of nature!"

"You said she would believe us." She whispers it to Tony, hoping Abby, who is currently pacing her apartment in agitation, won't hear her. After deciding they needed her assistance, Tony and Ziva had driven together to Abby's apartment to tell her about their situation.

"I thought she would. She believes Gibbs can read minds because he shows up right when she discovers something. This can't be that far off."

"We need to convince her, Tony. We need her help."

"WHAT ARE YOU WHISPERING ABOUT OVER THERE? Never mind! I don't give a damn! I need to use the bathroom." Abby stalks off before glaring at them and telling them to stay put on her black couch in her gothic living room.

"Uh, oh. She's pissed." Tony groans.

"Was she not before?"

"No. Before she was a _little_ angry. Now she's pissed because she thinks we were talking about her."

"We were."

"Shut up, she's coming back. I'll handle this."

"You cannot handle normal women, Tony, not to mention really mad, gothic women."

"Just be quiet!" He whispers it frantically as Abby slouches back into the room, obviously annoyed.

"Stop talking about me."

"Abby! We are telling the truth."

"Sure, Tony. And Santa Claus is real. And Gibbs is just a normal human being without superpowers. I don't believe you." She crosses her arms and huffs.

Tony gets up and stands close to her. "Listen, Abs. We're telling the truth and I can prove it." Without another word, he pulls Abby by the waist toward him and locks his (Ziva's really) lips onto hers.

Abby's eyebrows rise in surprise as Tony kisses her frantically, hungrily, and desperately. He forces his tongue into her mouth and moans at the feel of her tongue battling his own as her soft body presses against him. Ziva feels jealousy shoot through her at his obvious enjoyment of the kiss.

"HEY! Stop it, Tony!" She grabs Tony away from Abby and Abby wipes her mouth, saying nothing as she watches Ziva turn on Tony.

"_What the hell do you think you are doing?_ That is my body! You cannot just kiss whoever you want with no thought of the consequences. Kissing does not solve things, Tony. You cannot catch more bees with honey."

"Flies with honey, Ziva. And the proverb says you can. Besides, why would you care if I kissed her with your body? You're not in it."

"Because it is _my _body! Not yours, Tony!"

He studies her. "You're jealous." He says it quietly but she hears it nonetheless.

"I am not jealous."

"Yes you are."

"NO I AM NOT JEALOUS AND-"

"QUIET! Stop it already you two! Wow! This is so freakin' COOL! I can't believe you really switched bodies! Wow! Wait till I tell McGee!" Abby jumps up and down as she squeals in excitement and reaches for her cell, but Tony stops her from going anywhere.

Ziva only feels confused. "Why does she now believe us?"

Abby grins. "Seriously, Ziva? The Tony I know would have been crowing to watch two women kissing and would have made some rude remark. And I know that you're straight and you would never kiss me. Plus, you got really jealous and mad for really no reason at all, which wouldn't make sense unless it was actually your body."

Ziva turns on Tony. "This was your plan all along? You are perverted, Tony!" She hits him, hard.

"OW! Geez, Zee-vah. Chill out. It was just a little kiss. I'm sure you can relate to a little kissing between friends."

To her dismay she realizes she's blushing because she knows he's talking about their awkward almost-sex moment.

She turns to Abby. "Now that you believe us. What do we do?"

Abby rubs her hands together and sips her Caf-Pow thoughtfully. "I have a few ideas."


	9. Chapter 9

The next day, Abby paces around her lab before turning to look at them. "Okay, so the reason you're not switching back is probably due to some freaky disconnect between the two of you. Like, other world freaky. I've attached you both to polygraphs. Each time you lie to the other person, we'll all know. You need to be completely honest with each other in order to change back. At least, that's how I think it works according to this book I read, _Odd Phenomena in the Natural World_. Anyway, I'm going to ask you some questions."

"Abby this will not work. We already tried being honest with each other."

"So you told me, Tony... er, Ziva, but were you completely 100% honest?"

"Yes." The polygraph beeps loudly, testifying to her lie and annoying the hell out of Ziva. Mossad are trained to lie without being detected, but it has been too long since she truly had to practice that skill to the extreme and she is rusty.

"Tsk. Tsk. Obviously not or you would have changed back. One of you is hiding something suspicious. Okay! Let's start. This is going to be so much fun!"

"Only Abby would think a polygraph is fun," Tony whispers to her.

"HEY! No talking, Tony, and stop touching Ziva's breasts."

He looks up sheepishly. "It's just that if this works... I'm going to miss them."

Ziva groans. "Ugh. Grow up, Tony. You are being immature and stop looking at my head, too. It is not my fault you are balding."

"Maybe it is; maybe you aren't eating healthy enough." He makes a very immature face at her, which only serves to further her point.

"Be quiet! Okay. I'm going to ask you a series of questions. Ziva, how old are you?"

"28 years old."

"Tony, how old are you?"

"27 years old." BEEP BEEP...

"Fine. 33 years old. Happy, now? Can't a man have a little pride?"

"Ziva, where do you work?"

"NCIS."

"Tony?"

"NCIS, and sometimes for the CIA." BEEP BEEP BEEP-

"Fine. I don't work for the CIA, but that would be so sweet. I bet they would appreciate my James Bond imitations and movie references way more than you guys."

"Stop screwing up the test, Tony. Okay. Ziva, have you ever dated Tony?"

"No."

"Tony, did you ever have a crush on me?"

He gets flustered. "Um, Abs, I like you and all, but..."

"Just answer the question, Tony."

He sighs but then plays along as he waggles his eyebrows. "Yes. I mean, you're hot for sure."

"Hm. Interesting." Abby winks at him. "Okay. Ziva, are you in love with Tony?"

"WHAT? That is not an appropriate question, Abby!"

"Just answer the question."

She pauses, making sure that she doesn't allow her heart rate to accelerate before she says firmly, "No." BEEP BEEP BEEP- Shit.

Tony looks at her in surprise and shock. "You're in love with me?"

"No." BEEP BEEP- Ziva rips off the polygraph cords. "This is stupid, Abby. This machine is obviously broken."

"Oh yeah, it _must_ be broken, Ziva." Ziva ignores her sarcastic answer.

Ziva flees from Abby's lab and hears footsteps soon pursuing her.

Someone manages to catch her arm just as she reaches the elevator and she spins around in a defensive stance out of habit from years of training.

"Whoa, Ziva. Chill out. I just wanted to talk to you, that's all."

"There is nothing to say. I do not love you, Tony. That machine is messed up."

"It's okay, Ziva. You-"

"NO! IT IS NOT OKAY! I WANT MY BODY BACK! I do not want to be _you _anymore! I am sick of you messing around with _my_ body and _my _life as if you do not care what happens when I get my body back to myself!"

She stands there, chest heaving, when he asks quietly, "You done?"

"Yes."

Then he utters words that make her feel like complete shit for just yelling at him. "You're right, I haven't been serious about this. I'm sorry."

He walks away without another word and she's left alone, wanting to cry because she knows she has hurt him.

* * *

><p>Abby walks into her office, next to her lab. "Thanks, McGee."<p>

McGee looks up from a remote control he had been using to control the polygraph tests and make them beep when he and Abby had agreed. It had nothing to do with lies because they knew Ziva would be able to control her response, so they rigged the test. All he had to do was push a button and the machines would beep.

"No problem, Abby. I still don't believe this whole creepy scenario about switching bodies but those two have been acting weird lately so I'll do anything to get them back to normal. And to mess with Tony. Do I get a reward?"

"Of course, Timmy." She leans forward and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and he smiles at her. "I got to get back to work. Cya at lunch."

"Okay. Bye!" He's already walking out the door when she remembers to yell, "LET ME KNOW IF THOSE TWO HAVE KILLED EACH OTHER BY LUNCH!"

Gibbs walks in and looks at her questionably. "Who's killing who?"

"Oh! Hi Gibbs. Tony and Ziva switched bodies and they really love each other but they won't admit it and McGee was just helping me trick them into admitting it and they're really mad that we tricked them and..." He's giving her one of those looks so she pauses, "Never mind. Want to see what I got?"

"What'cha got, Abs?"

She goes into her spiel and Gibbs can't help but shake his head, wondering what's going on. He swears his agents need a vacation; things are just getting damn weird around here.

* * *

><p>Ziva is still attempting to control her fury and embarrassment at the polygraph test results when Gibbs walks into the bullpen.<p>

He takes one look at her and pauses. "Why were you crying, Dinozzo?"

"I was not crying, Boss."

"Don't lie to me, Dinozzo. Your eyes are red. If you've got some issues that need to be dealt with, deal with them."

"Okay."

Gibbs is about to say something else when Abby walks into the pen. "Geez, _Tony_, you and _Ziva_ ran off so fast that I never got to try it out."

"Try what out?"

Abby leans forward and kisses Tony's lips gently, and Ziva feels his body respond to Abby, but not nearly as much as it responded to her body, which somehow makes her feel better.

"Hmm. I can see why they say you're a good kisser."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ziva, really Tony, saw the kiss and he is beyond pissed.

"Well, _Tony_ told me that he once had a crush on me and I just wanted to see what it felt like to kiss him. Not bad."

Tony rushes towards her but slows his walk, as if trying to control his anger. "Abs, don't do this."

"Do what, _Ziva_?"

"You know how I feel."

"Feel about _Tony_?" She winks.

"Just knock it off."

"Okay. Bye." She skips away and leaves Tony staring awkwardly at an embarrassed Ziva and a perplexed Gibbs.

Gibbs finally says something. "What the hell is going on around here?"

* * *

><p>She cannot take it anymore. Tony and McGee have been staring at her all afternoon when he thinks she is not looking and even Gibbs has looked at her a few times as if he is concerned. She needs to get out of here.<p>

"I am leaving."

McGee is the first to protest. "Gibbs hasn't let us go yet, Tony."

"I do not care. He is with Ducky right now. Tell him I have cra-... a cold." She almost said cramps... that would've been embarrassing.

Tony looks at her in concern but she refuses to return his glance and grabs her stuff to leave. She walks out the door, gets in her car, and drives to the one place where she can think in peace: the gym.

A half-hour later, she's beating the crap out of a punching bag when she hears a voice behind her. "You know, violence isn't the answer, Ziva. Didn't they teach you that in Mossad?"

"Go away, Tony."

"We need to talk."

"I am busy." He's silent so she has assumed he's left but she's surprised when he comes into her field of vision wearing a pair of punching gloves, helmet, and teeth guard.

"C'mon. Let's solve this."

She looks at him in disbelief. "I am not going to fight you."

"Too scared?"

"If you make sounds like a chicken, again..."

"C'mon, Zee-vah! What have you got to lose?"

"Fine," she huffs. "But I will not go easy on you just because it is my body."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

They get in the boxing ring and face each other. They begin to circle each other and Tony starts talking to distract her.

"So, you love me, huh?"

"I do not."

"Polygraphs don't lie, Ziva."

"Stop trying to distract me, Tony." She aims a punch at his stomach but he dodges her expertly without throwing a return punch.

"It's okay, you know. I mean, I know I'm a pretty awesome guy and all and I'm just saying I could see how you would fall in-ooph!" This time he angers her enough that she makes sure her punch does not miss its target and he doubles over momentarily in pain.

"I am _not_ in love with you." She aims another two punches that find their marks again. One of them hits his head, hard.

Tony falls to the floor and she rolls her eyes. He has never been great at sparring, even during their training sessions.

He doesn't get up.

"Very funny, Tony. Get up."

He still doesn't move.

"I did not hit you that hard, Tony. Get up!"

He's completely still and panic begins to work its way through her as she rushes toward his prone form, lying on the mat.

"Tony?" His eyes are closed and she leans her head close to tell if he is breathing. He is not so she starts CPR. Just as she puts her lips over his a second time, his arms close around her waist tightly and he kisses her fiercely. He must have been holding his breath to fake not breathing.

She is lying half on top of him and cannot get free. She tries to resist but it is futile. She starts to kiss him back. Their tongues tangle and explore the others' mouths as they duel. His hands wander a little and she presses closer to him. She cannot get close enough. She runs his hand through her body's long hair, once again amazed at his body's response to her.

He opens his eyes as he pulls away from her. "I love you too." His voice is hoarse but she hears him clearly.

She gets up. "How could trick me like that?" She hisses it at him loudly.

"Hm.. Oh, I don't know. I guess because you wouldn't talk to me and there was no way I was going to convince you I have feelings for you unless I kissed you. I've never been great with words, Ziva, but I knew I could show you my love."

"I do not love you."

"Stop lying already!"

She shrugs as tears come to her eyes and he gets up and wraps his arms around her, not caring who in the gym is watching them. "What is it?"

"I am...scared."

"Of what?"

"All of my life I have looked for something... permanent. I have a country and a good place to work. I have friends. I do not have a family. It is just that when everything finally seems to be going right for me, things go wrong. When I was happy as a child, my sister Talí died. When I was happy in Mossad, my father practically k-killed me on a mission. When I was happy here, Jenny died. What happens if I am happy with you? I do not want anything bad to happen..."

He hugs her and kisses her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere, Ziv. You can't live in fear. Give us a chance."

She pauses and then shakes her head slightly. "I do not know, Tony."

"Please. Once we change back I'll take you on a date. One date can't hurt."

She shrugs. "You are right. But what are we going to do about the wedding?"

"I have an idea."

"I am okay with that. As long as it does not involve any more polygraph tests." He chuckles and kisses her on the lips gently.

**Pretty sure that CPR kiss trick was from a movie I watched one time... Little Rascals maybe? Thanks for the reviews :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**I have to apologize for a mistake on the last chapter. Malachi Tamim brought to my attention that the movie reference was the Sandlot, not the Little Rascals. Sorry! :)**

**Thanks for all the reviews! You guys rock!  
><strong>

**WARNING: Mature sexual content ahead and cutting.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"This is not going to work, Tony!" She glances apprehensively at an oblivious Gibbs as they approach his desk.<strong><br>**

"Chillax, Ziva. It'll be fine. He's already had two cups of coffee and I got him a doughnut this morning to butter him up." He whispers back loudly. The man does not know how to be subtle.

"Uh, Gibbs?"

"WHAT, David?" He looks up and Ziva almost groans. He's obviously in a pissy mood. This is not going to work.

"I, uh... Tony needs to talk to you."

Gibbs looks at her with a raised eyebrow and she glares at Tony. How dare he make her do this?

"Gib... Boss. I need time off."

"Why? And what does David have to do with this?"

"She asked me to go to a wedding with her... in Israel."

He growls, "No."

"But-"

"What part of NO don't you understand, Dinozzo? Now get back to work!"

She steels herself. "I am going, Gibbs, whether you like it or not."

He looks up again, unfazed. "If you go, you won't have a job to come back to."

The two walk away in despair. What are they going to do now?

A few hours later, Ziva decides to take matters into her own hands without Tony there. This wedding is too important for Gibbs to screw up. She follows him as soon as he leaves and jumps into the elevator at the last minute. He doesn't comment but she hits the emergency override switch as soon as possible, and the elevator grounds to a screechy halt.

"I _need_ to do this!"

He doesn't comment.

"I... Ziva needs me, Boss! I cannot... I can't not go!"

"You're not going, Dinozzo."

"I am going. I don't care if I do not have a job when I come back! She needs me! This wedding means much to her and I am coming! This is not a matter of _if_ Gibbs but _when_! I. Am. Going! And you are not stopping me!"

He stares at her in slight surprise. "You love her."

Shit. Despite the fact that Gibbs thinks she is Tony, he is still able to see the love for the other that she tries so hard to hide. "I do not."

"Yes, you do. You have for years, Dinozzo. I was waiting for you to see it, and it looks like you finally did."

She ignores the shock coming over her. Tony has been in love with her for years? She cannot believe it. All this time that he has been teasing her and dating random women... he has been in love with _her?_

"Don't look so surprised, Dinozzo. Sure, you have one-night stands, but you can't look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't have those just to try to get Ziva out of your head. I've been there."

She cannot meet his eyes, worried what he will say next.

"Rule number 12, Dinozzo. If this screws up my team, I will personally take your badge! But I'm not going to stand in the way of you making a fool of yourself either because you'll do it with or without my consent."

He hits the switch and the elevator spurts back into life.

"Boss?"

Gibbs steps out at the floor for Abby's lab and doesn't glance back as he says, "Get some work done. I don't need one of my best agents slacking, especially before he leaves for Israel."

The doors shut and Ziva cannot help but grin. She is going with Tony to Israel!

She practically runs back into the pen and stops at Tony's desk, breathless. "I am going! Gibbs said it was okay!" She squeals like a little girl and grabs Tony in a hug as he jumps up from his chair.

"That's great! I'm glad the old boss-man finally saw sense! What did you do to him?"

She winks. "Nothing."

"What the hell is wrong with you two?"

Tony and Ziva look up, still in an embrace, to find McGee watching them curiously. They immediately get away from each other, realizing how this must have looked to the younger agent. Tony squealing like a girl? Ziva calling Gibbs the "Boss-man"? Tony winking and saying that he did 'nothing' to Gibbs to get him to agree... This looks bad.

"You know, if it weren't Abby who suggested it, I would almost say she was right..."

Ziva's eyes furrow. "Right about what, McGee?"

He laughs. "She has this crazy idea that you two switched bodies or something."

Ziva and Tony both pretend to laugh. "That's just ridiculous, Probie!"

"Yeah, I know. But you have been awfully nice, lately Tony. No wonder she's concerned."

Ziva shrugs. She forgot that Tony often makes fun of McGee. It is not in her nature to do that.

Tony grins. "You sure about that... Tim? Maybe he's played a trick on you and you haven't noticed yet."

McGee looks up. "Yeah, right. I would have noticed."

Tony only shrugs and the two agents sit back down at their desks. About a half-hour later, though, Ziva's working with McGee when she notices what Tony alluded to. "McGee? Are your teeth _blue_?"

"What?"

"They are blue."

"No, they're not!"

"Yes, they are. Look." McGee looks in the reflection of his phone and groans. "What the hell, Tony?"

She smiles. "I did not want to lose my touch."

Tony gives her a subtle thumbs up from his desk. That's exactly what he would have said in response to his trick. It makes him almost laugh out loud that even though Ziva didn't pull the trick, she knows exactly what he would have said to get McGee upset.

"Tell Gibbs I went to brush my teeth."

"No time. We have to return to the crime scene." Ziva and Tony grab their stuff and follow Gibbs, who glances back, "C'mon Papa Smurf."

Tony snorts in amusement and even Ziva can't help but smirk as Tim rushes to catch up to them.

* * *

><p>"Ziva?" Tony? What is he doing here at 7 a.m in the morning?<p>

"Tony? Why are you here?"

"Look at me."

She looks up at him and nearly chokes on her cereal. Fresh from the shower, his skin glistens and it tempts her. He's not wearing a shirt and she can see his muscles bulging.

"Ummm.. What-What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?"

He walks toward her and, seemingly without effort, picks her up from the chair and settles down on it again with her in his lap.

"I am at home, eating breakfast before work. You should not be here."

"I'm always here." Without another word he kisses her and it catches her off guard.

His tongue forces its way into her mouth and she cannot hold back the moan that begs to be released. She feels him grin into the kiss and his hands get bold as they wander over her backside.

She squeaks in surprise and he pulls away. "Did I hurt you?"

"No. It just caught me off guard. I-I want you to fuck me, Tony."

He grins. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that."

He picks her up and carries her to her bedroom before depositing her roughly on the bed. She quickly discards her shirt and bra and he stares in amazement at her firm breasts. He discards his clothes as well and gets on top of her as he begins to kiss her again. Before he can get far, however, she flips them over so that she is on top of him, straddling him.

"You always did like being in control."

"Hush."

She kisses lower and lower and he moans in pleasure when her lips finally take him.

It isn't long until he releases himself and she licks up the juices.

"Interesting."

He only rolls his eyes and flips them around again before entering her without a warning. She nearly screams at the pleasurable and, at the same time, painful sensation.

"I always knew you liked it rough," he says as he thrusts into her quickly.

It doesn't take long for her to climax and the feeling is absolutely amazing. He holds onto her, grounding her to the Earth as her body spasms and then stills.

She opens her eyes to find him looking at her.

"That was fun."

She smiles and is about to reply when he suddenly gets up. "Okay. I'll see you later. Thanks for paying ahead of time."

"WHAT?"

He grins. "You didn't think I would do that for free, did you? You're hardly worth it."

He bounces out of the apartment and she is left alone. Again. She wishes she could cry. What the hell is happening around here?

She storms to her shower and glances at her shaver. It would be so easy and it would help relieve the pain. She rakes it the over her upper arm and the blood is pouring out, uncontrollably, but the physical pain helps alleviate the emotional pain. She relishes the control but starts freaking out because the blood flow will not stop. Her blood is not clotting. Why is it not clotting? She watches as the blood pours out of her faster and faster and she screams but no one can hear her-

_RING! RING! RING!_

Ziva sits up in bed with a start, her heart beating quickly, as she exams her upper left forearm for any signs of cuts. Relieved that it was just a dream she glances around for her phone and picks it up.

"Hello?"

"Ziva, I can't sleep."

"What now, Tony?"

"Do you think I should bring the red dress or the blue dress?" They're leaving for Israel tomorrow at 03:00 and it's almost midnight now.

"Bring the red dress, Tony. And do not even THINK about bringing that dress you wore to work earlier this week."

"You looked hot in it."

"Not the point. I have not seen my friend in years and I do not want her to think I am some spud."

"Spud?"

"You know, where women dress in too tight clothes and too short-"

"It's slut, Ziva."

"Spud, slut. Close enough."

"A spud is a potato."

"Did you really call to talk to me about potatoes and dresses Tony? Shouldn't you be sleeping rather than correcting my English?"

He's silent on the other end for a moment. "You're right." He hangs up and she feels relieved.

She sighs and flops back down in bed after turning out her light. She's just about to fall asleep again when:

_RING! RING!_

"It's only been a minute, Tony! What is wrong _now_?"

"Um... what hair products should I bring to make sure your hair doesn't frizz up?"

She sighs. "Why did you not pack earlier, like me? You should be sleeping right now. _I _should be sleeping...Do you want me to come over and pack for you?"

"Geez, Ziva! I thought you'd never ask! See you in ten!"

She moans. Why is everything so difficult with this man? Yet, despite the fact that she should be annoyed with him, she's smiling as she rushes from her apartment because the truth is: she loves spending time with him, even if it means playing games like this.


	11. Chapter 11

"Dibs on the window seat!" He pushes in front of her in the line to walk onto the plane and she rolls her eyes.

Tony plops down in the seat and buckles up while she settles in herself next to him.

He's already whining. "You should've bought first-class tickets, Ziva. I'm starving and there's no way peanuts are going to satisfy me. They're so dinky."

"You are lucky I was able to get you a ticket at all, Tony, so be grateful."

He smiles. "Yeah, well. How did you manage that, anyway?"

"I found two seats together. It is not brain science."

"Rocket science, Zee-vah. Or brain surgery. But not brain science."

She slugs him in the arm. "Close it."

He grins. "You mean shut it?"

"Yes. That. If you do not stop annoying me I will strangle you out with the pair of headphones I brought along with me." She hisses it with a menacingly look on her face but he ignores it.

"Ah, the perils of being friends with an ex-Mossad agent."

"I am warning you." She makes a slitting motion across her throat, half-joking, and the woman next to her attempts to inch away in her seat.

Tony leans over Ziva and, to her annoyance, she feels his body react to the proximity. She hates this attraction between them sometimes. How is she supposed to remain annoyed with him? "Don't worry, ma'am. She was just kidding. She's a big jokester."

Ziva rolls her eyes but gets out her book, intent on ignoring him for the rest of the flight.

Many hours later she wakes up to a soft pillow and hair in her face.

"Pfft!"

Tony glances down at her and winks. "Morning, gorgeous. And, man, do I mean gorgeous. You are a great looking man."

She sits up, ignoring his obvious compliment of his own body and glances at her watch. "We are almost there? Why did you not wake me? I must have been asleep for hours."

He shrugs. "You needed it. You looked tired."

His honesty surprises and touches her. "Thank you."

"No problem. Oh, and I ate your peanuts since you were sleeping anyway."

"Of course."

"But... I asked for some extra from the beautiful flight attendant. I had to flirt to get it but it worked. Man, lesbians are smoking hot."

She holds out her hand and he gives her the peanuts. How is it possible for him to be so thoughtful and annoying at the same time?

In a little less than an hour, the plane lands in Israel and the two walk off the plane. As they walk toward the terminal, Ziva reminds Tony that he must pretend to miss her friend and hug her. She also reminds him of key points he should talk about. It hurts her that she has to act like a stranger to a friend she has not seen in years but she knows she has no choice.

"Chillax, Zee-vah. I got this. Really. I won't let you down. I know how much this means to you." He gently reaches for her hand and squeezes it before releasing it. The gesture reassures her.

"ZIVA!" A young woman rushes toward them and grabs Tony in an intense hug. He hugs her tightly back but pulls back to say, "Hello Monique. How are you?"

"Wonderful! Thank you. I am _so_ excited you are here for my wedding... and you brought a friend?"

Ziva steps forward and holds out her hand, "Tony Dinozzo, ma'am. It is so nice to meet you."

Monique smiles. "Any friend of Ziva's is a friend of mine. I have heard of you, Tony."

She raises an eyebrow, knowing she's talked to Monique about her feelings for Tony before. "Good things, I hope?"

"Of course." Monique winks and they begin to walk to her car, having brought their suitcases along as carry-on baggage.

"So, Ziva, the wedding is tomorrow night. We have the rehearsal tonight at 8 p.m. in the conference room of the hotel you are staying at. I already reserved a room for you. Tony can reserve one when you arrive. Breakfast will be at 7 a.m. in the hotel lobby and the wedding is at sunset tomorrow. I have your bridesmaid's dress for you in your room. Any questions?"

During Monique's briefing session, they've already reached her car and she turns to look at them before she starts to drive.

Ziva and Tony look at each other, before replying, "No."

Monique smiles and begins to drive. On the way to the hotel, she keeps up constant conversation with Tony, who fairs quite well in pretending like he knows Monique. She only gives him a weird look when he mentions the hot flight attendant on their plane.

When they arrive at the hotel, Ziva walks to the front desk to reserve a room while Tony and Monique talk.

The desk clerk looks up at her approach and she smiles kindly. "Hello. I would like to reserve a room for two nights, please."

He pulls up the information on the computer and grimaces. "I'm sorry sir, but there are no rooms available."

"Nothing is available at all?"

The man shrugs but she sees little true remorse behind his glasses. "Sorry."

"It is alright. I will...work something out."

Tony and Monique are laughing about something or another when she walks up.

Tony looks at her. "All set?"

"Yes."

"Great! I'll see you two a little later, okay? I have to go greet the other bridesmaids and guests that arrived. I'm so glad you could come, Ziva!" Monique walks reluctantly away while a bellboy gathers Tony and Ziva's bags.

They head to the fourth floor and stop outside Tony's room. He turns to Ziva. "Where's your room?"

"I... I could not reserve one, Tony, so we will have to share."

Inside, he's smiling with delight at the thought of spending more time around Ziva, but he only shrugs. "That's fine, but, I'm warning you, no hogging the television, David."

She's amazed that he doesn't put up more of a fight and walks in behind him. Tony flops down on one of the beds and moans in relief as he puts his arms behind his head.

"Man, that was one long flight. Especially with that brat behind us kicking my seat every two minutes. I finally had to turn around and threaten him. I told him I was an NCIS agent and I could make him disappear so no one could ever find him. It worked pretty well but the mom was kinda pissed at me."

She doesn't reply. They only have a few hours until the rehearsal dinner and she needs to get ready. "I am going to take a shower."

An eyebrow rises. "Let me know if you need any help." He winks and she glares in response. Even when he's a female he is still a typical, red-blooded male.

She takes a quick, five-minute shower. She wraps a towel around Tony's body and walks out of the room to get appropriate clothes, when she overhears him on the phone:

"I know, Abs."

He has not seen her so she swiftly backs out of sight by the bathroom door, eavesdropping.

"I'm worried about her too. This whole craziness needs to end. I've been trying to keep up a strong front for her but it's exhausting. I miss the real Ziva. She's always so short with me and I know this is taking its toll on her. I just wish she'd let me help carry some of the weight, that's all. Yeah, I know. Okay. Listen, tell Gibbs we got here safely, okay? And tell Probie not to touch my mighty-mouse stapler this time. Or Ducky. Geez. Thanks. Talk to ya' later."

He hangs up the phone and buries his head in his hands, sighing. He is clearly exasperated and frustrated with the situation. Yet all this time she thought he was having fun and enjoying being her, it was just a front for her sake-to keep her distracted and her spirits up. A feeling she cannot define wells up within her for him and she smiles, wondering how she could have been so frustrated with him earlier. This man is so complicated, sometimes she forgets to look beyond the surface.

She walks into the room and smiles at him, acting like she did not just overhear a sensitive conversation. "Tony. You need to get ready. My body's hair does not do itself, you know."

He looks up at her, as if surprised to see her in the room, with him. "Right. Uh, I'll go shower."

"After you are, done, I will do your hair and makeup."

He pauses and looks back at her. "Wow. Uh, thanks, Ziva."

"It is my pleasure." She winks at him and he smiles softly back. She takes a risk and walks quickly over to him, placing a kiss on his cheek.

His eyes widen in surprise. "Damn, I would've offered to shower with you more often if I knew I'd get this sort of treatment."

"Shut up and go shower, Tony. You smell." She tries to hide her smile and fails.

He only shrugs. "It's your body. Don't blame me."

She hits him in the arm and he backs out of her reach, into the bathroom, as he protests, "Stop hitting me, woman!"

This time she manages to hold back her laughter until the bathroom door has closed. How is it that he knows exactly what to say to cheer her up and aggravate her at the same time?

About a half-hour later, Tony finishes his shower. Ziva walks into the bathroom and gives him a red dress to put on and he only looks at her.

"A little privacy, here, David?"

"It is not anything I have not seen before, Tony."

He shrugs. "Good point." He drops the towel, gets dressed in the undergarments and dress and she zips up the back.

"Now, kneel." He kneels in front of the mirror, as she blow-dry's and then straightens his hair.

She's curling the ends when he jerks. "Stop moving, Tony!"

He glances up at her. "Sorry. I, uh... never realized how uncomfortable dresses are before. It's kinda itchy."

"Yes, well now maybe you will respect women wearing dresses more."

He only snorts in response. She finishes his hair and puts on the makeup, trying not to stare into his eyes, which assess her, as if attempting to determine if she is okay.

She is not okay, but he does not need to know that. Everything within her wishes they had changed back. The wedding is tomorrow and she will have to continue to act like a stranger to her best friend while Tony pretends to be her. It is killing her inside.

He hears her sigh, knowing by her sad expression that she's upset about the situation and gently touches her hand, which jerks, causing the lipstick which she was applying to his face to smear.

"It'll be okay, Ziva. We'll work through this."

"I know."

And suddenly she's crying, in his arms, as he murmurs reassuring words to her. After a moment, she pulls back and glances down at him with a slight, gasping laugh. "Great. Now we have to clean you off. This is the only dress I brought."

He looks at his lipstick-smeared face and snotty dress in the mirror and smiles. "I don't know. It kind of suits me." He attempts to get the lipstick off his cheek and only makes it look worse.

It makes them both laugh and Ziva stares at Tony, realizing that this man, despite the fact that he currently looks like her, understands her so well. Again the mysterious feeling for him wells up inside her and this time she is able to place it, shocked as she realizes:

She is in love with Tony Dinozzo.


	12. Chapter 12

Tony and Ziva clean up and are about to walk into the hotel dining room for the rehearsal dinner, when Tony pulls her aside.

"Listen, Ziva, I want you to know that whatever happens tomorrow-I'll be here for you, even if we don't change back."

She smiles because his declaration is so sweet and means a lot to her. "Thank you, Tony."

They somehow manage to make it through the speeches and awkward conversations during dinner, and find themselves relaxing by the bar after dinner with some of the other guests, while the rest dance in a cleared away space.

A man walks up to them for about the third time and winks at Tony, asking if he can buy a drink for "her". Ziva rolls her eyes-she knew such a tight dress was a bad idea. Tony declines again and she huffs.

He turns toward her, "What? I can't help that you look attractive. Heck, I'd do me if I wasn't... me."

"Just... go dance with him already, Tony. He clearly likes you."

An incredulous look comes over his face and he holds up one finger. "Okay. First of all, I'm not into men. Second, what the hell, Ziva? You know I would rather spend the whole night with you, no matter how many beautiful women are out there."

She feels tears well up in her eyes and is annoyed at her emotional reaction to his statement, so she hits his arm.

"OW! What the hell was that for?"

"That was for being so... so, you, Tony. Sometimes you make me so mad and then others you say something like this."

He grins and shrugs. "Part of the Dinozzo charm."

She smiles tentatively back, knowing that she has to say something in response. "I-I care about you too, Tony."

"Thanks, Zee-vah! Now enough of this mushy stuff! Do you want to go dance? Or just get really drunk until I can convince you to dance? Of course, it probably wouldn't take long-you're kind of a lightweight."

"Shut up." But she nods in response, causing Tony to grab her arm and lead her out to the dance floor. She pulls him into her arms for a slow dance and is amazed that his clumsy feet are still clumsy on the dance floor. Figures. She revels in the feel of being so close to him, but she knows she would

Halfway through the dance, Tony feels an insistent tap on his shoulder and turns around to find the annoying man from earlier standing there. "Hey sweetie! Why don't you come dance with a real man?"

He quells his shudder. He cannot believe he's being hit on by a guy. Ugh. He attempts a smile, that he's sure looks more like a grimace, before replying, "No thanks."

The man refuses to leave, however. "Aw, c'mon. You don't want to stay with this loser. Trust me, I can offer you so much more." He waggles his eyebrows and Tony almost snorts in amusement because, instead of waggling, the eyebrows go up and down, making the man look like he's surprised and then not surprised. Creepy.

He's had enough of this loser.

He detaches himself from Ziva and turns around, stabbing a finger in the guy's chest. "What part of _no _don't you understand? I've already told you that I'm not interested in dancing with you, having you buy me a drink, or any of that shit. Let me make this extremely clear for your tiny brain-I. Am. Not. Interested."

The guy refuses to give up that easily. "Aw, c'mon, doll. What's your problem? Ditch stinky here and come with me."

Tony turns around again, fuming. His body is not stinky. "Do you want to know why I'm not interested? First, because you're ugly. Second, because you're a creep. Third... well, I can't think of third, but that's not the point. No wonder women don't like going to bars, if it means having guys with no balls, like you, harass them. I would much rather spend my time with this beautiful wo-...uh, man in front of me. Now leave before I call security and have them kick your pathetic ass."

The man sulks away, clearly embarrassed, and Tony turns to find Ziva watching him with an adoring expression. "Tony, that was wonderful."

He shrugs. "I was just sick of that ass interrupting our time together. I want to spend time with you, Ziva, not anyone else."

She leans forward and gently kisses him on the cheek. "Thank you, Tony. That was sweet. I feel the same."

He grins for the thousandth time that night. "Great. Now let's dance before another loser decides to hit on your awesome body."

They dance for an hour and then head up to their room. Tony collapses on the bed without bothering in changing or showering, but Ziva slips into some of his pajamas with plaid bottoms but forgoes the shirt.

They fall asleep, in bed, holding each other gently, and Ziva dreams of dancing in his arms, in her own body, the entire night.

_RING! RING! RING!_

Ziva groans and hits the alarm clock, opening her eyes to note the time: 7:15 a.m., annoyed at the early hour. Monique has a full day planned for the wedding party. She has to help set up the wedding and prepare the bride, not to mention get ready herself. Or, well, Tony has to do all that. She gets to go help the groomsmen.

But, she's so tired. They got back at one a.m. last night and she just wants to sleep. She burrows back into the sheets, lying on her stomach, and smiles as she drifts back to sleep.

Tony waked up with a groan as the alarm goes off again, but he slams his hand on the snooze button (while considering chucking it across the room) before he rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He glances at Ziva, next to him, and smiles. She looks so beautiful, her curly hair flowing over her back. The sheets are up to her shoulder and she has one leg draped over the edge of the bed. Her mouth is slightly open and a light snore comes out of it. She looks...beautiful and hot.

He freezes. Wait a second! He rushes to the mirror and glances at himself. He's Tony again! He notes his broad chest and mussed hair and grins widely before waving at himself. He bounds back to the bed and jumps on it.

"Ziva!" No response. He shakes her shoulder harder, "ZIVA!" She sits up with a start and Tony gulps. She's not wearing a shirt. When they went to bed last night, she was still Tony and she had forgone the shirt. She glances down in alarm and her eyes widen in surprise before she clamps her arms around her chest, blushing.

"_TONY_! Look away!" He smiles impishly. "Man, when it's your body, you kind of forget how hot the other person is."

She rolls her eyes and then pauses. "Wait! We are ourselves again?" She squeals and jumps up and down in place and Tony tries to stay focused on her face, not her chest. She turns around, grabs a shirt and then puts it on. He watches as it's pulled over her smooth, sexy back, feeling his body get warm.

She turns around and jump up and down again. "This is so wonderful, Tony! I get to be myself around Monique today and you get to be yourself."

He shrugs. "Yeah, all those movie references I can make!" She laughs and he thinks she's laughing at his joke, but then he realizes that she's staring at his chest... and lower.

"What?" He looks down and then his face gets slightly red. Last night, when he was still in Ziva's body, he had put on a tank top and short shorts, considering how hot it was where they were. Now, he's wearing the same outfit (and it's pink), which is much too small, especially the shorts.

"Uh. I'm going to go shower." Ziva grins at the view of him from the back, the shorts clinging a little too much. She's so glad to be herself again, especially if she gets this view.

It's not long before he emerges from the shower, dressed in nice pants and a button-down shirt. She's already dressed and fixing her hair. She does not look up as she states, "Just a few more minutes, Tony, and I will be ready."

He does not respond and she turns to find him staring at her. "What?"

"You put a tattoo on me."

She shrugs. "I have always wanted to get one."

His face is deadpan. "It's a purple butterfly."

"I thought it suited you perfectly."

"Ziva! Seriously? Now I have to get this removed!"

She snorts. "Why? No one will see it, considering it is on-"

"My butt! C'mon, Ziva! I didn't give you any tattoos!"

"Sorry. I could not help it. It looks so cute on you."

"Ugh. I am a man, if you hadn't noticed. Cute isn't what I aim for."

She studies him in the mirror. "What is really bothering you?"

"Uh, besides the fact that I have a purple butterfly tattooed on my ass?"

"Yes, besides that."

He sighs. She knows him too well. This isn't about a damn butterfly, entirely. His expression turns serious.

"Ziva? How did we change back, exactly? I mean, what did we do?"

"I do not know." She sounds surprised at her response.

"Sorry. You can keep getting ready. I was just curious, that's all."

"What does it matter, Tony? We are ourselves again. That is all that matters."

He nods and turns away, not wanting to say what he's really thinking:

He wants to know why they changed back because it means something must have happened between them, but what? He worries that Ziva will leave him as soon as they get back to NCIS, sick of spending time with him and that all of this entire escapade is going to be forgotten. He's worried that they'll go back to what they were: flirting, but never saying their true feelings. He's worried that she only pretended to care about him this entire trip in order to make the entire situation more bearable for him. He suddenly feels vulnerable around her, and insecure.

But, most of all, he wishes he could tell her that he loves her-has for a long time-without messing everything up.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone! Thanks for the awesome reviews and alerts! They mean a lot to me :). I was planning on ending the story this chapter, but the characters refused to let me. It will be ending in a few chapters, however. As always, I appreciate any suggestions as to the plot, etc. <strong>

**Please review and let me know what you think. This was an interesting chapter to write! :)  
><strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Warning: Mature sexual content ahead.**

He hasn't seen her all day and if he has to hear one more joke from the groomsmen to the groom about the woes of marriage, he will punch somebody. He'd give anything to be there, standing as the groom while a beautiful bride (with suspiciously familiar looking dark hair) comes floating toward him.

Funny enough, he does get his wish... in a way. He's sitting in one of the first pews, as the bridesmaids come walking down the aisle. He's not really paying attention until he sees Ziva.

She's walking towards him and looking straight into his eyes and the world just seems to encompass the two of them, as cheesy as it sounds. He fights the urge to get up, grab her, and kiss her senseless when she winks daringly at him as she walks by.

The entire wedding, he barely hears the vows. He focuses on her and her alone. He studies her beautiful form in the black dress and notes her familiar mannerisms, which, although looked very odd in his body, suit her perfectly. For example, the way she tilts her head to the side when she's curious. The way her right hand twitches when she gets impatient. The way she sometimes wiggles her toes in her shoes because she's tired of standing there for so long. The way she flips her hair unconsciously away from her face and eyes. The way her dress dips daringly low on the smooth skin of her back...

She's beautiful.

But, his whole dream is awakened when the rude idiot, one of the best men and her partner to walk back down at the aisle at the end of the wedding, whispers something in her ear that makes her laugh.

Only he should be allowed to make her laugh like that.

He's the first guest out of his seat, rushing to find her.

"Ziva!" She smiles at him and turns, still standing with the others in the group as the give the bride and groom a farewell and continue to the reception.

"Hi." Her hair is so soft... he wants to touch it, so he does.

She looks surprised at the gentle caress but smiles. "You look nice."

He'd changed into his suit earlier. "Thanks. You look bee-oo-ti-ful." She smiles and the idiot groomsman comes up to them.

"Hi. Jared Hollins."

He sticks out his hand and Tony grips it a bit too forcefully, gritting his teeth. "Tony Dinozzo."

"Your girlfriend here is quite beautiful."

Ziva starts to protest, but Tony interrupts, putting an arm around her waist. "I know."

Jared gets distracted by someone and walks away, yelling, "Nice to meet you, Dinozzo!"

"What?"

"I am not your girlfriend, Tony."

"Yeah, well... I didn't like the way that idiot was staring at you. And what did he say to you earlier, Ziv? Because, if it was bad, I swear I'll kick his ass."

"You know that if he did, I already would have, Tony."

"Ah. Good point."

"But, if you call me your girlfriend again without my permission, I will strangle you with that handsome, little tie around your neck."

"Got it." She smiles just a little too sweetly for his taste and walks away.

Later, at the reception, he finds himself working up the courage to ask her to dance when someone beats him to it. She is whisked away by a handsome guest and he's left staring at his drink, wondering when he became such a coward.

He hears her laugh again in the way only he should be able to evoke and something snaps. He stands up, stalks over, and taps the guy on the shoulder. The guy allows him to cut in and he soon finds Ziva in his arms, staring at him in surprise.

"That was very rude, Tony."

"Yeah, well, I can't _always_ be charming."

She rolls her eyes, but he notices she moves closer, her body rubbing up against his every once in a while erotically. Is she teasing him? He looks up to find a twinkle in her eye and almost groans from the desire to kiss her. He refrains though because it's not the moment, not here, in a crowd of strangers, at someone else's wedding. He wants their first kiss in years to be perfect-them alone with wine...

"Tony? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if you wanted to go get something to drink? I am... what is the word? Famished?"

He grins. "You mean thirsty? Sure." He leads her toward the bar and ignores the way the dress bunches up around her smooth, toned legs as she sits down on the bar-stool.

A few more drinks later and they both loosen up a little.

A few more drinks and they really, really loosen up.

After their latest round of drinks, Tony and Ziva are stumbling to their hotel room, holding each other up and laughing.

He somehow (miraculously) manages to get the door open and stumbles toward the bed, taking off his shirt as he goes. He looks back and finds Ziva doing the same. His pupils immediately dilate.

"Ziva..." Even in a drunken state, Tony knows he shouldn't be seeing this.

"Wha'? I'm jus' doing what are you are, are doooin'" she giggles and finishes tearing off her black dress, sitting on the bed in just her underwear.

This woman will be the death of him. He stumbles toward the bed and gently blows a raspberry on her stomach. She laughs heartily. "Was that for?"

He grins up at her and she bits her lip enticingly. "For bein' so damn, ush... pret'y?"

She smiles and, before he knows it, she has pulled him toward him and is kissing him. Her hands run through his hair daringly as her lips sensuously attack his own. Her fingers brush against bare skin and the contact is electric, causing him to shiver. Her breasts press against him as he suddenly finds himself lying down, with her straddling him. He can feel her aroused peaks, even through the fabric of her thin bra and finds his hands cupping her.

Her soft hair sweeps in his face and tickles him as she moves to kiss further down on his neck and he groans. "Zeeh-vaaah.."

She smiles and continues kissing him. "Like thaaa'?

He doesn't answer but she continues with her assault of kisses, until his hands fall away from where they are now stroking her back. She looks up in surprise at him and sighs in annoyance.

Tony has fallen asleep.

She reaches over and turns off the lights, snuggling into him and sighing in contentment.

* * *

><p>BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!<p>

"Mmm! Tony... make it stop." Tony is covering his eyes in the early morning brightness and she feels incapable of movement. Tony grabs the closest thing he can reach, the television remote, and throws it at the alarm clock. It makes the clock stop but the loud clatter afterward makes them both cringe due to their massive hangovers.

"Sorry."

"S'okay." She manages to rip open her eyes a crack and finds him a foot away, burrowed under the covers. He moves a leg and accidentally touches her bare stomach... BARE? Did they? They didn't?

"Tony?" He hears the panic in her voice and emerges quickly, despite the fact that she is whispering to avoid the noise.

"What?" He stares down at her.

"I am only... wearing underwear."

He visibly gulps and then grins. "Must have been some night."

She hits him. "Shut up!"

"Do you remember?"

"No. Do you?"

"No. Last thing I remember is noticing you using contractions when you started to get drunk. Did you know you do that?"

"No. Do you think we...?"

He smiles. "Trust me, Ziva. When I'm _that_ drunk, there's no way I could've taken off your bra."

"Good point. And you are still wearing pants so."

"How do you know I'm wearing pants?" In answer, her foot snakes up his leg. She strokes his toned legs and smiles teasingly before moving away.

"Uh, right."

They remain silent for a few moments. Then, Tony speaks.

"Suppose we have to get up now?"

"You make the coffee."

"And what will you be doing, pray tell?"

She growls in response and he decides not to mess with her. If Ziva not on a hangover is constantly giving death threats, he doesn't want to know what the Ziva on a hangover would do. Probably kill him. Maybe feed him to sharks. Either that or lock him in the elevator with an angry Gibbs for a day. He gets up and makes coffee as quietly as possible and then decides to take a shower.

She waits until he is gone and then cautiously gets up to get some water and something to eat until the coffee is ready. She considers what they have to do that day, remembering that they have a flight leaving for D.C. later that afternoon. Work starts again tomorrow, so, luckily, their hangovers won't interfere.

Yet, despite trying to push thoughts of waking up away like she did, they come to worry her. She cannot understand how she was in her underwear... Did they do something? Did they kiss? A flashback comes to her, then, of straddling Tony, feeling his arousal underneath her as she kisses him, her tongue exploring his.

Shit.

She stretches out her aching muscles from dancing last night. Well... At least they did not have sex. That would have been awful. Or would it have been? Images come to her mind of Tony slowly peeling away her dress... sucking and kissing her breasts. Plunging his fingers into-

"A-hem." She turns to find him staring at her mid-stretched out form, and looks down to find she is still only wearing her lacy, black underwear. She blushes and then grabs a towel and some clothes.

"I am going to shower."

He winks as she passes him by and she avoids his eyes awkwardly, as she feels the desire curling in her midsection.

Today is going to be an extremely long day.

**Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate it! :)  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 14

She flops down on the couch in Tony's apartment with a sigh. They are back in D.C. after hours of flight and tension between them. The barest glance of Tony's fingers against her own sent sparks down her spine during their flight back but she ignored them. She has to because she cannot get into a relationship with this man. It would be crazy.

Tony agreed to let her come to his apartment to get her clothes that he had been using and then he is going to drive her to her own place. It's almost 9 at night and she cannot wait to fall into bed.

Tony emerges from his bedroom with a pile of clothes and dumps them into her arms.

"There ya' go! Everything I wore. Sorry if some of it smells. I forgot to wash it. Didn't have time."

She resists rolling her eyes. "Thank you. I should be going then."

"Okay. I... I guess I'll see you in work tomorrow?"

"Yes... um, thank you, for coming with me, Tony. It meant a lot to me. I am glad we are friends."

He grimaces at the word 'friends' behind her back as she is facing the door, unable to look at him. Before he knows it, she's walked out the door of his apartment and he's left feeling alone and empty, missing her already.

He thinks of all the great times they had this week as he showers. He thinks of their kiss, which he belatedly remembered on the way home after his hangover started to lessen, and all he knows is that this isn't right. He and she have been through so much crazy shit in the last week (was it only a week? It felt like a lifetime, in a good way). Things cannot go back to normal... not for him. He loves her and he knows it. This whole experience helped him understand what she's gone through: her scars from Somalia, the joys (and not) of being a woman, and her strength despite her small size. She is beautiful and wonderful and he loves her.

And suddenly he can't stand it anymore. Why doesn't she feel the same? Anger rises up within him at her seeming indifference. Doesn't he mean _anything _to her?

In a split-second decision, he grabs his keys and rushes out the door. It's time to do something about this.

* * *

><p>Ziva is lounging in her pajamas in her bedroom, reading before she goes to bed when she hears a loud pounding on the door. Immediately on the alert, she grabs her gun and phone and cautiously peeps at the person outside. She finds a furious-looking Tony Dinozzo standing there impatiently.<p>

She opens the door, gun at her side. "What are you doing here, Tony? Is something wrong?"

He storms in and she shuts the door, standing in surprise as he whirls back towards her and gets in her face.

"DIDN'T YOU GET ANYTHING FROM THIS EXPERIENCE?"

She refuses to look at him because she knows what she will find: anger.

"What do you mean? It is over, Tony! Let us just stop talking about it."

"No."

She looks up then to find him pacing in front of her, a serious expression on his face.

"I just don't get how this whole...thing didn't mean _anything_ to you, Ziva! When I was you, I learned so much! I _get_ you more now! Our relationship has changed! Don't you think we should talk about that?"

"I do not want to talk about it."

"Why?"

Silence.

"WHY? C'mon, Ziva, don't shut me out! I'm not just some random-"

"I AM NOT READY, TONY!"

Her outburst clearly takes him aback and he studies her for a moment before saying quietly, "What do you mean?"

This time, it's Ziva who is pacing up and down in front of him. "Do you think I really learned and felt _nothing_ when I was you, Tony? I was in your _body_, for god's sake! I... I learned about your sister, Emily, and the loss you feel every day! I _know_ what that is like! I learned from your mail that you regularly donate to charities, but does Tony Dinozzo tell anyone? NO! Because that would ruin EVERYTHING! It would mean other people would know you actually CARE and you would have to get close to them and risk the pain of losing them! And then the volunteering at the humane society and being so damn _kind _to me throughout this whole... thing. I-I... I did not like finding out those things about you, Tony."

"WHAT? Why?"

She doesn't look at him as, in her anger, she blurts out, "Because it made me care for you even more! And I am TIRED of-of... feeling like I am NOTHING to you! I am tired of WENDY and random one-night stands you feel you must brag about! And, here I am, but you ignore me like...LIKE I AM NOT EVEN THERE! AND I LIKED BEING MAD AT YOU, TONY, BECAUSE THEN I DIDN'T HAVE TO FACE THIS!"

They are silent for a few minutes until Tony almost whispers, "Ziva?"

She's quiet now, unable to shout any longer, the fear now overtaking the anger. "I am... scared. I am scared that if I truly tell you how I feel, you will reject me, and I will face disappointment and pain again. I cannot take any more pain, Tony."

She looks at him with those tear-filled eyes and his heart nearly breaks as they stare at each other. Without another word, he walks out the door.

She stares in shock and collapses on the couch, numb, with no tears left to shed.

Meanwhile, Tony is standing outside her apartment, near his car, talking on his cell phone.

"I don't know what to do, McGee!"

"Just tell her how you feel, already, Tony and stop bothering me!"

"She's sitting in there crying and, it hit me, I had no damn clue what to say. I'm not ready for this!"

"Tony, chill out. Just go back in there and hold her."

"After I left because I freaked out? She's probably pissed!"

"Trust me, Tony. She'll be more pissed if you don't go back in."

"Right."

"You already knew that, Tony. What's this really about?"

"...What if... I screw up, McGee?... What if I end up hurting her? She's had so much pain in her life and I don't want to add to that!"

"You can't protect her from everything, Tony, but right now you're hurting her more by not loving her. You're denying her something she really hasn't known. It's better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all, right?"

"Wow. Probie, are you, uh, quoting at me?"

"Just hang up and go back in there!"

"Right. And, listen, if you tell anyone about this conversation, I will switch Abby's Caf-pows out for de-caf and blame it on you."

"Noted. Now go, Tony."

"I will. McGee? Thanks. You're a good friend."

"Yeah, yeah. You're welcome."

They hang up and Tony walks back towards Ziva's apartment, praying she won't kill him.

* * *

><p><strong>Shorter chapter this time, but I will be updating hopefully sometime tomorrow or by Sunday. Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are awesome :) And sorry for any typos in this chapter, I wrote it pretty quick. Please review!<br>**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Warning, Mature sexual scene ahead along with reference to violence/rape. Don't read if you know you shouldn't or aren't comfortable with it, etc. DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, NCIS, or any of it.  
><strong>

He walks back into the apartment building, bounds up the steps as fast as he can, and arrives at her door, out of breath. In his urgency, he pounds on the door again.

But she doesn't open it.

"I do not want to talk to you right now."

"I'm not leaving, Ziva! I will sit out here until you open the door!"

He's greeted with her typical silence in these situations. "Zeeeee-vaaah, I'm serious. I will sit out here until morning if I have to! In fact, I can even regal you with interesting movie and television trivia while I wait. Speaking of which, this is just like that episode of the Office where-"

He hears the lock click quietly and she opens the door, backing up just enough to allow him to enter. He takes in her attitude in a second: her arms crossed defensively over her chest, the defiant eyes, and gun on the nearby table.

"You are here. Now you can leave." Yep, she's pissed.

"Look, I'm sorry for running out on you like that. I just didn't know what to say, Ziv, but hear me out, okay?"

She shrugs. "There is nothing to hear."

"Just listen, please. I need to say this. After that, you can kick me out if you want. Hell, you can call Gibbs and have him come and kick me out."

She sits down on the sofa and waits in stony silence for him to begin talking. He clears his throat.

"I wish I could say something to make everything easier for you, Ziva. I wish... I have wished since Somalia, that I could take away your pain. But I can't. But McGoo's right-"

"What does McGee have to do with this?"

"Uh, I'll tell you later, if you don't kill me after this speech. Anyway, the main thing is, for once in his life, Probie's right. I need to stop hurting you by holding back. I, um, care about you, Ziva. Have for a while. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I meant what I said in Somalia."

_-FLASHBACK- [A/N: Direct quoting - disclaimer: the t.v. show's, not mine]_

Both their minds flash back to that cold, dark place in the Somalian camp.

They are sitting across from each other and Ziva is almost certain the terrorists are going to kill her. They have beaten her, raped her, insulted her, and humiliated her. They have stripped her of her humanity until she feels nothing. She wants to die.

Yet, at this moment, anger and sadness penetrate through the numbness as she stares at Tony. She is upset with _Tony_, not the terrorists, for possessing the stupidity, as usual, to do something so dumb like trying to save her, because now they will kill him too. And after all they have been through... her entire career at NCIS has been to protect him, despite Rivken. As soon as that thought hits, anguish complements the anger. Anguish at losing Rivken-anguish at now knowing she will lose Tony too. And anger at Tony for daring to come here after the hurt he has caused her.

"Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you?"

Tony nods. "You're welcome... So, you're glad to see me."

"You should not have come. Why are you here?"

Tony groans in pain. "Couldn't live without ya'... I can't."

"So you will die with me."

_-FLASHBACK ENDS-_

Ziva stares at Tony and he stares straight back.

"I'm tired of pretending, Ziva."

He moves closer to her and sits on the couch as he gently wipes a tear from her cheek, and she starts because she had not realized she is crying.

"I do not know what to say, Tony."

"Do you care for me, Ziva?"

"You know I do." She says it so quietly that he almost doesn't hear her utter the word that will change his life forever.

"Good. Cause I care for you too. And I'm sorry for being a jerk all those years. All those one-night stands were just my way of trying to forget about my feelings for you. I know you're scared, but I love you, Ziva, and I don't want to lose you. Together, we can work through anything."

In a bold move, he leans forward and gently brushes his lips against hers, before pulling away.

They sit in silence for a few moments before Ziva does something that completely catches him off guard. She launches herself at him and he finds himself being intensely kissed...and kissing back.

Her tongue gently begs entrance to his mouth and he eagerly complies as their tongues battle. This kiss is ten times better sober, and in his own body. He pulls her close and feels her soft curves against him. One hand travels up to caress her soft, curly hair, while the other runs back and forth along that small strip of skin between her t-shirt and waistband of her pants.

After a moment, her hands pull out his shirt and she runs her soft fingers up and down the warm skin of his back, sending bolts of electricity to places he wishes would calm down right now.

She pulls back and stares at him, both their breathing ragged.

"I am scared, Tony."

"Don't be, Ziv. I'm not going anywhere. Besides, you promised me a date once we changed back, remember?" He pulls her onto his lap and she hooks her hands around his neck.

She smiles. "Yes, but I had just beaten you up. I was feeling sorry for you."

"Har-har. Very funny. Now what?" He waggles his eyebrows suggestively and she rolls her eyes. They sit in silence for a few minutes, and then she gets up off of him.

"You should probably go. We have to work tomorrow."

Disappointment overwhelms him. "Uh, right. So we'll talk tomorrow?"

"Of course we will, Tony." He gives her a quick kiss on the lips, and she smiles at him.

He walks toward the door and she follows.

* * *

><p>"Goodnight, Ziva."<p>

She watches as he grabs his car keys from the side table and reaches for the door handle. She does not want him to go. She wants him to stay here with her. She know that if he leaves now... they will never talk about tonight or what happened between them again because it is hard for her to be open about these things. She knows she will not go on a date with him. She do not want him to leave and always wonder.

The door is partway open and something in her just screams to stop him. Before she knows what she is doing, she slams the door shut with the flat of her hand.

He raises an eyebrow as he looks at her and she advances upon him, causing him to back up against the wall. She presses herself against his muscled chest and smiles.

"I have changed my mind." She grabs for his t-shirt and starts to yank it up his stomach when his hands stop her.

"Ziv...I'm not sure this is the best idea."

"Very Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo is turning down sex?"

His eyes turn serious for another time that night (apparently miracles do happen) and he smiles gently at her. "I don't want to mess this up."

She growls, "The only way you will mess this up, Tony, is if you refuse to take off your shirt. Besides, I want to do this. I _need _to do this. I care about you, Tony, and we might not have another chance, yes?"

He does not protest anymore, thank god, and she pulls off his shirt. She is glad she does not have to explain further why she needs to have sex NOW because he seems to get it: she will shut him out if they wait because she is scared of rejection and pain and loving him and losing him.

But tonight, in this moment, she is somehow able to let it all go and take that risk, just like he took a risk to talk to her. She knows that tomorrow, as soon as they enter NCIS, things will go back to normal and that is not what she wants. That is why she has to do this now.

He stills her hands again when she reaches for his pajama pants. "Whoa, whoa. Hold up. Do you have condoms?"

"Yes."

"Good. Hope you have more than one because we'll need it." He winks lewdly and Ziva cannot hold back the laughter this time.

In a surprise swoop, he picks her up off her feet and carries her in his arms to the bedroom, setting her gently down on the bed. He discards the rest of his clothes and reddens slightly at her gaze.

He kisses her neck softly and she moans as he edges her t-shirt off. She makes a sound of impatience and kicks off her pajama pants, leaving her only in her underwear.

They stare at each other for a moment before Ziva slowly unclasps her bra in the back, suddenly nervous. He watches in wonder as the garment falls away and smiles at her.

"You're beautiful, Ziva."

She blushes and he kisses her, straddling her. Their tongues tangle and warmth begins to ignite in her lower stomach. She runs her hands through his soft, not-balding, thick hair and moves away from his mouth to kiss near his ear.

"Mmmm.."

She smiles at the sound and makes quick work of the rest of her garments, and Tony does the same.

He smiles at her uncertainly before putting his hand on her breast. She moans at the pleasure of his hand gently kneading her breast and closes her eyes when his mouth takes her nipple. His hand caress her other breast and then his mouth switches to give each equal attention.

His hands wander to her clit and she jumps in surprise and hisses at the contact. He continues to arouse her and soon she knows, from the ache, what she needs. She feels him hard against her and knows he is ready too.

"Please, Tony. I need you."

"You're sure?"

"If you make me ask you one more-AH!" He grins at her as he enters and she is surprised by his large size. She adjusts to him and then they begin a steady rhythm, with Tony's hand still stroking her clit, the other softly caressing her hair.

He rains down kisses on her neck and breasts and Ziva is overcome with intense feelings for this man.

It is not long before she feels an orgasm coming and he allows himself to go when she does. He collapses on top of her and rolls off, both of them sweaty but happy.

"We should have done that years ago."

"Yes, we should have."

They kiss lazily until they both begin to feel even more tired and drift off to sleep in each other's arms.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP BEE-

Ziva snuggles into the soft sheets and something warm and solid next to her, sighing because she knows she needs to get up. Wait? Warm and solid? In a split second, she has grabbed her gun and hopped out of bed in alarm.

She points the gun at a surprised, and grumpy Tony Dinozzo.

"Good morning to you too. Was the sex really that bad?"

She puts down the gun and moves back to sit on the bed. "I did not remember where I was..."

"Ah. Well, I'm not dangerous. As far as I know. Course Gibbs will be once he finds out we had sex last night. You know, you should just not wear clothes ever. You look hot."

"Do you regret it, Tony?"

"Nope! Do you?" His tone is light but his eyes are serious, worried.

"No. It was nice."

He sits up in annoyance. "Nice? I am _the_ Tony Dinozzo and all you can say is nice? I really am losing my touch! I knew it! See! This is what happens when you start balding, Ziva! You become... old!"

She laughs and moves over to straddle him as she leans down and kisses him, long and slow, on the mouth. "It was very, very nice, Tony. I enjoyed it very much."

"Mmm. That's more like it."

The alarm clock beeps again and they groan, pulling away from each other.

"I must go shower."

He grins deviously. "Need some help?"

She walks seductively away and winks over her shoulder. He'll take that as a yes.

* * *

><p><strong>FYI - there will be one more chapter and an epilogue. Thanks for the reviews! :)<br>**

**Inspiration for the pre-sex scene was House, when he hallucinates about doing it with Cuddy.  
><strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for the reviews! :) After this, there is one more chapter (the epilogue). Thanks for reading, everyone, it's been fun!  
><strong>

They took separate cars to work because Gibbs would kill them if he saw them come into NCIS together. Ziva is the first to arrive. She walks in with a smile and sits down at her desk as she powers up her computer.

Gibbs appears from one of his coffee runs and walks over to her. "DAVID!"

She looks up questionably, why is he already angry? Does he know somehow? "Yes, Gibbs?"

"How many times do I have to tell you and Dinozzo to sit at your own damn desks?"

She looks around and realizes he's right: She's sitting at Tony's desk. Just when she had become used to sitting there. Figures.

"Sorry, Gibbs."

Tony and McGee walk in a few minutes later and Tony winks at her. McGee looks between them. "How was Israel?"

"Good."

"Great."

They respond at the same time, a little too enthusiastically, and Ziva blushes as Tony waggles his eyebrows at her, thinking of their time in bed just last night. McGee looks quizzically between them but doesn't comment.

About an hour later, when they are sure that Gibbs has had enough coffee to become a semi-reasonable human being again (at least for Gibbs), Tony and Ziva make eye contact and both stand up. It is time.

"Uh, Boss? Can we talk to you about something?"

"What, Dinozzo?"

"Uh, privately?" Gibbs' head snaps up from the paperwork in front of him on his desk and he glances at Ziva and then a nervous Tony. He studies them for a few moments before nodding curtly.

The trio walks toward the elevator and Gibbs pushes the floor for the basement before hitting the override switch. He turns to them in the semi-darkness with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well?"

Tony stammers. "Uh, Boss, well... In Israel we..."

"What Tony is trying to say, Gibbs, is that we are dating. And we do not expect it to become an issue in the workplace but thought you should be informed."

Gibbs' eyes narrow as they dart between each agent. He glances between them to find that they are holding hands in front of him.

"Rule Number 12, David. Dinozzo."

"Yes, Gibbs, we know but-"

"But what? I can't have my best two agents distracted because they're dating!"

"We won't be distracted, Gibbs." Tony steps forward.

He glares slightly but nods. "Fine." He hits the switch without another word, clearly angry at them, but right before he steps out of the elevator at Abby's floor, he looks back at them.

"Bout time, Dinozzo. David."

"Boss?" Tony looks confused.

He steps back and head-slaps Tony and Ziva. "You two have been eyeing each other for years. I'm glad you're finally doing something about it. But, Tony, if you hurt her..."

"Right. I won't, Boss."

"Sames goes for you, David."

"Of course, Gibbs. I will not kill him." Gibbs' mouth quirks slightly upward at her very somber look and nods at both of them. "Keep it out of the workplace or I will have both of your badges."

The elevator doors close and the pair look at each other in relief.

"That went well. I thought for sure he was going to shoot me." Tony makes the sound of a gun as he points his fingers at himself.

"Yes, well, he may not like it but at least he is allowing us to date."

"Yep! So, uh, should we tell McGee and Abby now?"

Ziva grimaces. "McGee with his stupid bet?"

"Uh, yeah, forgot about that. You know, we could have some fun with this, Ziva. He deserves it."

"I am listening."

Tony explains his plan to her and they both grin as they step off the elevator. This could be fun.

A few hours later, Ziva manages to lure McGee away from his desk to the break-room during lunch.

"So, Ziva, what happened between you and Tony yesterday? He called me and he was pretty upset."

"We are okay now, McGee."

"Great! You know, because, I, uh, did have some money riding on you two. Plus, you two are perfect for each other."

"Yes, I heard about the bet." She quirks an eyebrow and he has the decency to blush.

"Sorry, but I couldn't help it. Abby called me a chicken and I've seen the way you two look at each other. No harm done, right?"

"Of course not, McGee. But I did want to talk to you." She leans against a vending machine and smiles softly at him.

"Sure, Ziva. How can I help?"

She walks toward him seductively. "The truth is McGee. I like Tony, but it is you I love."

He visibly gulps. "Uh, Ziva?"

"Yes, McGee. I cannot help it. You are so smart being able to hack into those websites and use your computer skills. Not to mention your muscles." She squeezes his arm and lets her hair brush against his face.

"Well. I have been working out lately too but, uh, Ziva, I thought you liked Tony?"

She smiles. "Tony? Please. He is not the type for me, McGee. I need a real man." She leans forward and gently kisses his neck.

He blushes. "Ziva, I'm flattered but I don't feel that way about you."

She brushes her fingers up and down his arm as she purrs. "It will not hurt, McGee, will it?"

"Ziva I really don't-" At his further refusal she pretends to burst into tears. At that moment, Tony strides in angrily.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"

McGee nervously looks at Tony. "I, uh, didn't mean to. She j-just..."

"Shut up, Probie! I can't believe you! Making a woman cry!"

Tony puts his arms protectively around Ziva.

"I-I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you, Ziva?"

She peers out of her fingers. "Sniff. I do not know. I love you McGee. Why do you not feel the same way?"

She sobs and McGee gets desperate. "What if I pay for the repairs you need on your car?"

"You would do that?"

"Yes! Of course! I promise. Just please stop crying."

"Okay." Ziva shrugs and steps away from Tony and they both begin to laugh at the surprised look on McGee's face.

"You tricked me!"

"You bet on a relationship between me and Ziva, Probie. You deserved it."

"Fine. But I'm not paying for the repairs on your car, Ziva."

She steps forward threateningly. "You know, I could easily kill you with this paperclip, McGee."

"And I could kill _you_, Ziva, without leaving behind a trace of forensic evidence." All three turn to find Abby standing angrily in the doorway.

"Don't you _dare_ threaten Timmy! Don't you two have any morals?"

Tony grins and Ziva shrugs. "He bet on us dating, Abby."

"So did I. Which, by the way, sucks, because I lost money to McGee."

"Wait. You thought I wouldn't be man enough to ask her out?"

Abby smirks. "Well, technically, you were a woman at the time, Tony."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Very funny, Abs."

At that moment Gibbs walks in to get more coffee. He notices all the agents conversing and pauses. "What is this, a tea party? If you're not going to eat, then get back to work!"

Everyone, except Abby who has Gibbs wrapped around her finger and can do no wrong, rushes off.

Abby sits down next to Gibbs. "So, Tony and Ziva, huh, Gibbs? Pretty exciting. Two of your best agents falling madly in love. It's kind of romantic, actually. It remind me of when McGee and I were dating. That was back when I still have my coffin for a bed, but-"

"Abs."

"Right. Anyway, Gibbs, don't be too hard on them. It's so romantic, especially since Tony was really Ziva and Ziva was really Tony so, you know, they've been through so much and I know we were all really worried about them-"

"Abs!"

"Right. Sorry, Gibbs. Anyway, I did have something to tell you about the case." She stares off into space for a moment.

"What'cha got, Abs?"

She flings her arms around his neck. "I love hearing that, Gibbs! Well..."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Ziva once again finds herself in Tony's arms. He smiles down at her softly.<p>

"I-I love you, Ziva."

"I love you too, Tony." She moves to straddle him and kisses him lazily until they both become so exhausted that Ziva rolls off of him and snuggles in his arm, finally content and at home.

"Goodnight, beautiful." He kisses her forehead gently and she sighs in happiness..

"Goodnight, my little hairy butt."


	17. Chapter 17

Epilogue: 3 weeks later...

"Zee-vahhhh!" Tony Dinozzo can't help but whine...his girlfriend is taking forever to get ready for dinner at their favorite restaurant.

Her head of half-straightened hair peers around the doorway of the bathroom. "What?"

"Are you ready yet?"

"Does it look like I am ready, Tony? Really!" She huffs and disappears again. Who knew bad-ass Agent Ziva David was as much as a woman as anyone else? Besides him...

She finally steps out of the bathroom a few minutes later and his breath is taken away. In her seductively low-cut red, dress hugging her curves with the straightened hair, he just wants to take her right now.

"Forget going out to eat." In one movement he has her trapped against the wall and is kissing her senseless.

"Tony! We need to get going! We are going to be late!"

"Mm..don't care." She manages to push him away and glares for good measure.

"If you do not listen to me, Anthony Dinozzo, I will-"

He kisses her again. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying-"

His tongue forces its way into her mouth. He pulls back after a minute. "What were you saying?"

"I, uh. I forget."

He grins and winks at her. "C'mon. Let's go! No need to keep McGoo and the goth waiting longer than necessary."

They leave his apartment and get in his car, with Tony driving (Ziva's driving still scares him). On the way their, they discuss their plan.

"Do you think it will work, Tony?"

"I think so. There's no way Probie will turn down free food and Abby will freak at this opportunity. Besides, maybe it will get them together."

"Yes, that is true. And they have been very creaky with each other lately."

"Cranky, Ziv, not creaky."

"Whatever."

They arrive at their favorite restaurant and step inside to find their favorite person already there.

"Hello, my dears. A table for four, yes?"

"Yes, thank you." Tony leans over to kiss Ziva gently and the waitress studies them, noting their happiness with each other.

Tony leans forward conspiratorially, "Listen, there's these friends of ours who we really think could benefit from some...special treatment tonight if you get my drift." He winks and the waitress smiles back. She has just the thing.

She leads them to the table and they sit down, waiting for Abby and McGee who aren't there yet.  
>They order their drinks and then talk.<p>

"Tony... I am really glad we are here."

"Me too! God, I love this place, Ziva!"

"No. That is not what I meant and you know it! I am glad I am here...with you."

He smiles and takes her hand across the table. "Me too. I'm glad everything worked out for us. I love you, Ziv."

"I love you too."

"AWWW! You guys are so cute together! Aren't they _cute_ together, McGee?"

"Uh, sure Abs." The pair sit down and Abby beams at them, making Ziva feel slightly self-conscious. For the past three weeks, ever since she found out they are dating, Abby has been 'awing' and 'oohing' them, even when Gibbs is around, which has made them both slightly uncomfortable.

The quartet proceed to talk about the previous weeks case and their plans for the weekend and at some point, as is prone to happen, McGee and Abby get into an argument.

"So, anyway, Rob, he's this nice guy who works for a crime-scene clean-up company, was-"

"Wait! Rob? I thought you were over this guy!"

Abby glares at McGee. "It's none of your business, McGee! And he's very nice to me!"

"Abby, he's a jerk!"

"No, he's not, McGee! And it's none. of. your. business."

Tony and Ziva exchange wary glances. This could get ugly. At that moment, however, the waitress from before comes up to them.

Abby looks up at the interruption. "See, McGee! You're even bothering the waitress! Look how sad she looks!" It was completely untrue, the waitress was smiling happily at them.

She holds out a tray. "Would you like a cookie, dears?"

Both Abby and McGee pause from glaring at each other, taken aback that someone would interrupt a very obviously hostile conversation. "Uh, sure." McGee takes a cookie and Abby does the same.

Abby looks at Ziva and Tony, still peeved. "Aren't you guys going to take one?"

"Uh, we already had some, Abs, but thanks." Tony's lie saves them from having to take another. Tony and Ziva exchange significant glances.

The pair open their cookies and eat them.

"What does yours say, Probster?"

McGee looks at them strangely and then reads the fortune out loud.

_"Who you are is not who you wish to be. Who you can be is not who you would expect. Place yourself in another's shoes and find your true path. But be careful, for there may be no going back."_

Abby looks up as McGee reads the fortune. "That's weird. Mine says that too, Timmy."

"Huh, must be a fluke, right Ziva?"

"Of course, Tony." She winks at him and he grins.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Tony and Ziva head back to her apartment, where they will be spending the night together.<p>

They arrive in her apartment and Tony turns to grin at her. "That was fun."

"It was, but I feel bad, Tony."

"Ah, don't worry about it. They'll be fine."

He puts his arms around her and smiles. "C'mon. Let's watch a movie. Men in Black 1 okay with you?"

"Sure. I like the male character... he is very cute, yes?"

Tony rolls his eyes. "Hey now! Boyfriend listening here!"

She only winks and walks toward the bedroom to get her pajamas on.

Hours later, when Ziva is sound asleep in their bed, Tony gets out his video camera and sets it up. He sits on the edge of the bed, with Ziva sleeping just behind him on the other side. There are benefits to her being a heavy sleeper. She won't even hear him saying this. He turns on the video camera and waves slightly.

"Hi, Ziva. Just thought I'd send you another quick video message. I know you don't know I'm doing these yet. I'm saving them for our wedding, babe. But, uh, here's another one."

He pauses and smiles into the camera. "I love you. I don't think I say that enough. I was so worried when we started dating three weeks ago that you wouldn't love me back. I was worried that I wouldn't be a good enough boyfriend to you. But, somehow, you love me too. And that makes my life pretty much perfect. And maybe someday, we'll have kids with your eyes and my awesome mischievous ways who will be running around a big house, calling us mom and dad."

He sighs. "That would be even more perfect. But even if that never happens, I would be content in just growing old with you, Ziva David. You are my friend. My lover. My everything, babe. Don't you dare forget what I said in Somalia, Ziva: I can't live without you... I better get going, I guess. I think you're starting to wake up and I'll probably find a gun in my face if I don't stop talking. Haha. Love you!"

He turns off the video camera and tucks it away in the closet again before getting in bed with a sleeping, peaceful Ziva.

"Love you, Ziva." He kisses her gently and he swears he sees just a hint of a smile on her face before he turns off the light and pulls her into his arms: right where she belongs.

* * *

><p>BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!<p>

"Mmmmm.." Abby shuts off the alarm clock in annoyance and blindly reaches for the caf-pow that somewhere on the dresser next to her bed. After just the first sip, she sits up and rubs her eyes.

A new day! She bounds out of bed and into the kitchen, before remembering she has to use the bathroom. She walks into the bathroom and-

"AHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

><p>BAM! BAM! BAM!<p>

"I'm coming... I'm coming." McGee gets out of bed and trudges to the door, hearing Abby shouting at him the whole way.

"Open up the door, McGee! This isn't funny! We have a very big problem!"

"Chill out, Abby. I'm coming.. Gee.. can't wait till a civilized hour to bother me?" He has trouble getting the door open and Abby's still shouting at him.

He finally gets it open. "Couldn't it wait-" He stops his sentence completely at the sight of Abby?

She gestures toward her crotch. "I think we have bigger problems McGee than the hour!"

And with that, he faints dead away.

Abby groans and rubs her chin, which needs shaving. "Oh, c'mon, McGee! For god's sake!"

He eventually sits up and looks at her. "Abs, why are you in my body?"

"The real question is, why are you in mine, McGee?"

The pair look at each other and the same thought goes through each of their minds:

This is not good.

* * *

><p><strong>The end! Thanks for the reviews, etc. everyone! Author alert me or whatever because I'm bound to do another Tiva fic (or a Zabby fic if you're into that)! I'm thinking about doing a sequel to this one but I'm not sure yet, so we'll see! <strong>

**Thanks for reading! :)**


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